


Connection Lost

by toxzen



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Multi, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:59:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxzen/pseuds/toxzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a particularly bad episode, Noiz's parents decide to institutionalize him in an effort to find a remedy for his near constant bodily harm. In the institution Noiz meets the sweet and kind Aoba, as well as his alter, Sly Blue, who, among other things, takes a strong liking for Noiz's pain tolerance.<br/>However, while Noiz is becoming more and more attached to the blue-haired alter, the institution is doing everything in its power to get rid of Aoba's dissociating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i know a lot of people are probably hoping for updates to my Ruin(ed) series, but this idea has been in my head for a while and i just really wanted to get it out

"Sign here...

As well as here..."

The voice floated through Noiz's headphones at a barely registrable volume. Unfortunately the pounding music that issued from his headphones was at the highest volume which meant he couldn't be rid completely of the annoying voices. He rubbed his nose as the thumb of his right hand darted over the keys of the DS. A sudden tapping on his shoulder made him lift his head. He flinched as his eyes met the stark blue orbs of his stepfather. He swallowed and slid the headphones onto his neck. 

"Noiz, sweetie." Noiz's mother knelt before him and put a hand on his knee. He frowned at the thin, pale digits that gripped him through his black-washed jeans. "It's time."

Noiz nodded and stood up from the bench. The attendant at the front desk with whom his mother had been speaking smiled at him as she gestured to his DS.

"I need to take all your personal belongings, dear," she said.

Noiz nodded again as he disentangled himself from his headphones and placed them, his DS, and his phone on the desk. His stepfather cleared his throat. Noiz rolled his eyes as he fished out a second and then a third phone from various pockets hidden on his person. The attendant's eyes widened as she took his various devices from him and put them together in a non-descript plastic bag.

"Alright," the attendant said as she rose and walked out from behind the desk. "You may say your goodbyes now. Don't worry," she added as she smiled at Noiz, "your parents can come visit this weekend."

"That's only in a few days, sweetie," Noiz's mother said as she gave him a tight hug. 

"Yeah," Noiz muttered under his breath. 

His stepfather squeezed his shoulder. Noiz stiffened, but thankfully the man didn't try to initiate further contact. Noiz breathed a small sigh through his nose as his parents headed to the double doors of the ward. His mother waved over her shoulder as his stepfather held the door open for her. He could feel the man's eyes on him, but he opted for staring at his shoes with his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets.

"Right this way, Noiz," the attendant said as she led the way to a second set of double doors. These doors were locked, but not for long since, as they approached, the guard on duty, buzzed them in.

"Welcome to the Second Ward," the attendant said as she raised her hand to direct him inside.

* * *

Noiz sat on the foot of his bed and stared at his suitcase. It had been brought in by one of the attendants after its contents had been inspected. His mother had packed it, so they needn't have worried about it containing illicit materials. His person had also been searched thoroughly by a male nurse with shocking blond hair and a pair of blue-green glasses. The man had smiled a lot and had a cool, low voice.

Noiz kicked his feet. They were donned in a pair of slippers since his shoes had been taken from him. He had had the option to keep them without the laces, but he had opted for the slippers. With a small sigh he glanced around his room. It was small and white-washed. There were two beds with side tables on the right of each. Two dressers stood on the opposite wall. His roommate was nowhere to be found. Apparently this wasn't surprising. The attendant had explained to him that his roommate was "a special case", whatever the hell that meant. 

Noiz rubbed his arm over the thin, short sleeve that covered it. His parents had informed him of his institutionalization when they had been on their way 'to the grocery store'. He should have known something was up when he had practically been ordered by his stepfather to accompany them. He cringed at the thought.

A small itch was budding in the back of his mind. He swallowed and the rubbing of his arm turned to scratching. A sudden crash drew his attention to the door. He got off the bed and opened the door a crack. 

"You fucking shit."

Noiz scampered back with a yelp as a dark-haired youth suddenly propelled himself at another boy and the pair fell into Noiz's room. The door flew open and slammed against the wall. Noiz hastened back until he bumped into his bed. The pair rolled around the floor together in a frenzy of blue and black hair. They were snarling like a pair of peeved cats. The black-haired boy gained the advantage and pinned the other to the floor.

"I'm going to kill you."

Noiz flinched at the sincerity in his voice, but the pinned boy only laughed loudly. Suddenly four attendants flooded into the room. Two of them grabbed hold of the black-haired boy. He growled and tossed his head back. Noiz was startled to see a puckered, pink scar running over the bridge of the boy's nose. The attendants were demanding that this be enough as they dragged the boy out of the room. Meanwhile the other two were crouched beside the blue-haired boy.

"Fuck off," the boy snapped as he pushed himself to his feet. "I'm fine," he added as he shook off the attendants questioning. The boy spun around, and stopped in mid stride when his vibrant yellow eyes fell on Noiz.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Before Noiz could answer, a man appeared in the doorway. He was tall with long brown dreads. The pink headband around his forehead did nothing to alleviate the intimidating air he put forth. His skin was a soft brown his cheek bones could have cut diamonds. He was frowning as he stared down at the blue-haired boy. 

"It's time for group," he said smoothly. 

"Fuck that," the blue-haired boy said as he walked past Noiz and threw himself onto the other bed.

"You must be the new patient," the man said with a smile that made Noiz blink. The expression actually managed to soften his glacial features. "I'm Mink," the man said as he offered his hand. "I'm this floor's therapist."

"Uh, hi," Noiz said as he took the man's hand. It was warm and grasped his firmly. 

"If you'll follow me, I can take you to group," Mink said as he turned around. 

Noiz followed. He glanced over his shoulder at the other boy, who was still lounging in bed. 

"He'll come later," Mink assured him as he started down the hall. "I'm sorry about the ruckus. It's not usually that lively around here."

"Cool," Noiz said. "So, what exactly is group?" 

The pair walked down the hallway, which was lined with bedrooms. At the end of the hall, they came to a fork. To the left, Noiz knew since the attendant had given him a tour when he had first arrived, was the nurse's station as well as the exit. To the right was an open common area. Past that was the activity room, and apparently where group would be held, since Mink led him there. 

"It's a time when the patients here gather to discuss what is going on in their lives," Mink said as he gestured for Noiz to enter the room first. 

Noiz swallowed before stepping inside. Large bay windows, barred of course, lined the far wall. A small circle of chairs was clustered in the middle of the room. A white-haired boy with a medical mask covering his face sat in one chair; another was occupied by the black-haired boy who had been dragged out of Noiz's room. He looked decidedly less murderous now. A boy with soft green tattoos twining around his neck and arms sat beside the black-haired boy. About six of the other chairs were occupied. Noiz walked to one of the unoccupied ones and sat down. All eyes were on him and thus his eyes took up residence on the floor. Mink followed him and sat in another open chair. 

"Sorry I'm late," the warm, ringing voice drew attention to the doorway. The blue-haired boy stood there. A wide smile was on his face and his eyes were a soft amber. 

The black-haired boy sat up as the boy walked in.

"Aoba," Mink said. "It's nice of you to join us."

"Thanks," the boy said as he ran a hand through his long hair. He crossed the room and sat down next to the boy who had just moments ago pinned him to the ground. He smiled him before looking around the circle. "Oh, there's a new person here."

Noiz stared as the boy's amber eyes fell on him. The boy smiled and waved at him. Noiz's mind screamed at him in utter confusion. 

"Yes, everyone this is Noiz," Mink said. Noiz turned to the man and jabbed a finger at the blue-haired boy.

"The fuck is with that?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Noiz," Mink admonished quietly, "we don't point things out like that here."

"Oh," Noiz said quietly as he folded his arms and sunk into his chair.

"It's fine, Mink," Aoba said with a laugh. "I guess you met Sly then?" 

"Sorry, Aoba," the black-haired boy said. "We kinda got in a fight in your room and he was there."

"Yes. Aoba, Noiz is going to be your new roommate," Mink explained.

"Oh, cool. Hi," Aoba said with another wave. 

"Let's go through introductions. Mizuki, would you like to start?" Mink asked, turning to the boy with the green tattoos.

"Ah, sure," Mizuki said as he rubbed his cheek. A light green teardrop tattoo sat on his cheekbone. "I'm Mizuki. I'm 19. I have PTSD." He gave a soft chuckle as his hand dropped into his laps. 

"We urge our patients here to say what their problems are," Mink explained to Noiz. "Since it's your first day, you don't have to though. Clear." Mink turned to the boy in the medical mask who sat beside Mizuki. "Would you like to go next?"

"Sure!" The bubbly voice that issued from behind the thin paper mask surprised Noiz. The white-haired boy had been staring forlornly at his shoes, but now he sat up and his eyes were crinkled in a smile. They were a vibrant, light pink. They contrasted oddly with the yellow scarf that twined around his neck. "I'm Clear and I have mirrored-self misidentification."

"Clear, have you taken your mask off at all today?" Mink asked as he crossed his ankle over his knee.

"No," Clear said quietly as his shoulders hunched. His hand reached up and plucked at the edge of the mask.

"That's alright. We'll talk more about that after introductions," Mink assured him with his dazzling smile.

Clear blushed and looked away from the older man. Noiz was frowning as he stared at the boy. He had no idea what the mirror identifying thing was. He honestly wasn't so certain about what PTSD was either. As for his own... _thing_...he had been told the name of it before, but he'd never really paid attention to the countless therapists his mother had sent him to.

Noiz didn't pay attention to the next few introductions, so busy was he frowning down at his hands. He had had to take out all of his piercings, and he felt oddly naked without them. A pair of light red holes decorated both of his hands where his surface piercings had been. Apparently they were considered dangerous enough that he had to remove them.

"I'm Aoba." Noiz looked up at the sound of his roommate's alluring voice. "I'm 23 and I have DID. That's dissociative identity disorder," he added as he looked at Noiz. Noiz glanced around--did anyone understand what those words meant? All eyes were on him and he quickly looked back at Aoba's comforting amber eyes. "That means I have multiple personalities. Well, one anyway. You met him, Sly."

"Oh, um," Noiz mumbled quietly. "OK."

"I'm Koujaku," the black-haired boy said and Noiz breathed a sigh of relief as the eyes moved away from him. "I'm 22 and I--" he cleared his throat and glanced at Mink. The man nodded slowly and Koujaku rolled his shoulders. "I have anger management issues," he finally managed. Mink gave him a small smile before turning to Noiz.

"You're turn, Noiz," he said.

"Ok," the boy murmured. "I'm Noiz. I'm 17. And um." His eyes flickered over to Mink. The man raised his eyebrow. Noiz gnawed on his lip and looked away. He wanted to give a big, fancy name for his thing--one that no one would understand so they wouldn't  _know_ what it was, but how ever much he wracked his brain, he couldn't remember what it was called.

"Thank you, Noiz," Mink said, saving him from his scrambling mind. Noiz breathed a small sigh as attention shifted to the therapist. "Let's begin with you, Koujaku. Why did you and Sly get into a fight?"

"No reason," Koujaku muttered as he twined his fingers together. His hands, Noiz realized, were decorated with a collection of scars, similar to the one that marred his face. Noiz's eyes remained riveted to the boy's hand as he reached up and ran his fingers over his bangs, which concealed half of his face. "It was just a fight."

"The nurses told me what you said to Sly," Mink said quietly. He dropped his foot back to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees. "Do you know what brought that on?"

"I--" Koujaku glanced at Aoba, who gave him a reassuring smile. "Sly was just being a jackass," he finally said. 

"That is your typical excuse, Koujaku," Mink said with a small shake of his head. "Would you like to expand on it?"

"Not really," Koujaku said as his eyes flickered to Mink's face. His eyes were a sharp red as he glared at the man."

"That is fine," Mink said with an allowing nod. He turned to Clear. "Clear, you took off your mask yesterday and said you would do it again today," Mink said. "Do you know why you haven't been able to yet?"

"No," Clear murmured quietly. His pale cheeks were stained a soft pink. 

"No ideas?" Mink pressed. "Clear, you told me you would."

"I know," Clear whispered. "I'm sorry."

Noiz's eyes widened--was he about to cry? He glanced hurriedly at Mink. The therapist seemed to have picked up on this shift as well. He smiled at the boy, though he didn't notice.

"That is alright, Clear," Mink said. "I know you tried."

Clear's eyes crinkled in a relieved smile as he looked at Mink. When his eyes registered the smile on the man's face, he ducked his head as a deep blush over took his face. Noiz almost snorted at the blatant infatuation the patient had for the doctor, but he covered the sound by quickly rubbing his nose. 

The conversation turned to Mizuki, who amicably answered all of Mink's questions. Apparently he had "worked up the courage" to call one of his old friends and the conversation had gone well. 

"It didn't even trigger me," Mizuki said with a grin.

"I'm happy to hear that."

Mink then turned his attention to the remaining patients. He didn't speak to either Aoba or Noiz until close to the end of the conversation. Noiz stared at the clock as conversation droned on. A small tap on his shoulder made him look around. Clear's pink eyes were focused on him. He jumped and the boy nodded to something behind him. Noiz turned to Mink. The man was staring at him expectantly.

"Um, what?" Noiz said. A soft chuckle made him look around. 

Aoba elbowed Koujaku and the boy tried to stifle another laugh. Noiz flushed and looked down at the floor.

"Noiz," Mink said. He didn't sound at all like he had repeated the name multiple times, but Noiz had the feeling that he had done just that. "I wanted to know how you felt about everything that is going on," Mink said. "I know we threw you into this right after you arrived. Are you feeling overwhelmed?"

"Uh, no," Noiz said as he glanced up at the man.

"How do you feel about coming here?" Mink asked. "Were you part of the decision?"

"No," Noiz said. He swallowed and gnawed on his lower lip. "We kinda just showed up here."

"Do you know why you're parents decided to bring you here?" Mink asked. 

Noiz flinched and sunk into his chair. His mind was suddenly bombarded by the horrified face of his little brother: green eyes were wide in terror and small mouth hung open. Noiz's arms tightened around himself.

"No," he finally said.

Mink waited for what felt like an eternity, but when Noiz didn't say anything else, he turned to Aoba. Noiz let out a slow, rattling sigh as he unwrapped himself and slumped in his chair. He knew perfectly well why he had ended up here, but sharing that was the last thing he wanted to do. His breathing suddenly picked up and his fingernails dug into the soft skin of his forearm.

Mink was talking in his low, rumbling voice; Aoba answered all his questions sweetly. The blood rushing in Noiz's head drowned the words out, however. His nails dug in deeper and he blinked several times as he tried to rid himself of the images. The sensations were also bubbling up: the harsh gripping on his hips, the trembling of his knees, the sweat dripping down the back of his neck. Theo's face swam his front of his eyes. His throat tightened up.

"Noiz...

Noiz..."

Noiz blinked and his vision slowly keyed in on what was really in front of him. Theo's face dissolved and Mink's appeared before him. The man was kneeling in front of him. His hand was on Noiz's knee. Noiz blinked again and looked around. The room was empty save for the two of them. Mink rose.

"Group is over," he said. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to come to my office."

"Um, okay," Noiz murmured quietly. He slowly got to his feet. His knees quaked slightly. He took a deep breath. 

Mink nodded and turned away. He walked out of the activity room and Noiz followed him on shaky legs. The pair continued down the hallway away from the TV room until they reached a door on the left hand side. Mink produced a set of keys and unlocked the room. He gestured for Noiz to enter. The boy ducked his head as he walked past the therapist.

The office he found himself in was stark, industrial. Everything had a reason for being there: there was no excess furniture or decorations. A couch stood against one wall. Opposite it was a desk with a large, wheeled chair behind it and two wooden arm chairs in front. Bookshelves lined the walls. A large, barred window stood across from the door. Hanging beside it was a large cage. Inside a brilliant pink bird was perched. Despite its vibrancy that contrasted sharply with the rest of the room it didn't seem remotely out of place. It ruffled its wings as Mink walked in. 

"Take a seat wherever you'd like," Mink said as he closed the door behind them.

Noiz sat down on the couch. Mink went to his desk. The rolling chair creaked as he sat down in it. He opened the manilla folder that sat on his desk, and looked over it as he spoke.

"Are you alright, Noiz?" he asked. 

"I'm fine," Noiz said as he crammed his hands between his knees.

"What triggered your anxiety attack, Noiz?" Mink asked quietly as he looked up at him. 

"My...?"

"Do you know what an anxiety attack is?" Mink asked. His forehead was creased as he surveyed Noiz.

"Uh, yeah. I do," Noiz said. He shifted slightly on the couch.

"You got upset after I asked you if you knew why you were here," Mink said. 

"You...you could tell?"

"That's my job," Mink said with a soft chuckle. "Did something happen, Noiz? There's nothing here in your file." Mink gestured to the folder in front of him.

"Um, no," Noiz said.

"Noiz," Mink said with a small sigh, "this--" he gestured to the room around them--"doesn't work unless your honest with yourself and with me. You need to tell me if something happened."

"Nothing happened," Noiz said, his eyes flashing as he glared at Mink.

Mink sat back in his chair and steepled his fingers below his chin.

"I'm sorry, Noiz. I don't believe you."

"I don't give a fuck," Noiz shot back. His cheeks were flushed as he continued to glare at Mink.

"Noiz," Mink admonished. Noiz swallowed and looked down at the floor. "You don't have to tell me now, but I need to know eventually. Otherwise I can't help you." Mink stood. "I'll take you to the cafeteria for dinner."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was long actually with a lot of dialogue. and no sly :( but my bby will show up in the next chapter and yes stuff's gonna get smexy


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: self-harm, blood

Noiz stared around the cafeteria with his tray gripped tightly in his hands. This was like the first day at a new school, except he’d only ever been homeschooled and this was a prison for crazy people. Noiz scoffed under his breath. Regardless of some of his more damaging proclivities, he really didn’t think he belonged here. Hell, his roommate could turn into another person; that was next level shit.

“Noiz!”

Said roommate’s voice drew Noiz’s attention to one of the tables. Aoba, the angry boy, the boy with the mask, and the green tattoos boy were seated at the table together. Aoba was waving at him eagerly.

“Sit with us.”

Noiz walked over to the table and sat down beside the boy with the medical mask. This put him across the table from the dark-haired boy with the perpetual scowl—at least it was perpetual where anyone other than Aoba was concerned. The boy proved as much when he turned to Aoba and his face softened. 

“How are you settling in?” Aoba asked.

“Fine,” Noiz said. He stared down at his plate and fiddled with the plastic fork he’d been provided. 

“So, we’re roommates,” Aoba continued, unperturbed by Noiz’s monosyllabic response, “and you met Sly already.”

Noiz frowned up at him.

“That’s the other me,” Aoba said with a laugh. 

“He’s kind of a jackass,” the boy with the green tear drop tattoo said.

The boys all laughed, including the masked one, though Noiz could barely hear the chuckle, more like a soft exhale with a delighted edge to it. Aoba chuckled and drew his hair carefully over each shoulder.

“He’s not all bad, right?” he said with an embarrassed grin.

“Koujaku would probably disagree with you there,” the brunette said.

Koujaku rolled his eyes. Aoba gave him a light elbow and Koujaku’s lips twitched in a small smile. 

“You did meet him briefly though, right?” Aoba said, looking back at Noiz.

“Uh, yeah,” Noiz said as he stabbed his mashed potatoes. “Sort of.” He would hardly call the encounter he’d had with the blue-haired identity ‘meeting’. Sly had simply cussed him out and then Noiz had been ushered off to group. 

“Don’t worry,” Aoba said. “He can be a bit of an ass, but he won’t hurt you or anything.”

“Just don’t tick him off too much,” the tattooed one said. “Leave that to Koujaku.”

“Mizuki,” Koujaku grumbled under his breath. He shot a soft glare in the tanned boy’s direction. 

“What?” Mizuki said. “It’s true. You two are always getting into fights.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Koujaku muttered eloquently under his breath. He stood up and picked up his tray. “You finished, Aoba?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Aoba passed him his tray.

Koujaku walked off to dump their food. 

“How are you doing, Noiz?” Aoba said. “Seriously.”

“I’m fine,” Noiz said with a frown etched in his forehead. 

“Adjusting to everything can be hard, so just let us know if there’s anything we can do to help,” Aoba said. 

“Yeah,” Mizuki said, “we’re all friends in here.”

* * *

Noiz lay on his side in his bed, listening to the soft sound of Aoba’s breathing. After dinner, he had been ushered along to the TV room where he had watched the others play a rowdy game of Scrabble. It had been entertaining in its own right, especially how pissed off Koujaku would get when he lost, but Noiz was still bored out of his mind. Not only that, but he was getting _that_ itch at the back of his mind.

The fact of the matter was, for all his stating otherwise, he was not fine. From the time he had walked into the ward until now, it had felt as if a pit had taken up residence in his stomach. It was a gnawing sensation riddled with anxiety that left him on edge. The constant prying that he’d had to endure all day didn’t help matters.

With a grimace, he sat up and pulled his hand out from under his pillow. He stared down at the plastic fork he held in his hand. He had long since perfected the art of slight of hand when it came to acquiring sharp objects. This one wasn’t necessarily sharp, not without an alteration. Noiz gripped the fork in both hands and bent it.  With a loud _snap_ it broke in two. Noiz winced and glanced over his shoulder. In the dim moonlight that filtered in through the chicken-wired window, he could make out Aoba’s sleeping form. The boy had his back to him, but he seemed undisturbed by the sound. 

Noiz released a sigh and looked down at the broken fork in his hands. He dropped the less desirable fragments. The broken end in his hand resembled a shank. He rolled his eyes at the thought before lifting up his shirt. He’d long since stopped using his arms as a canvas. Despite his tendency to wear long sleeves, the markings on his arms had been spotted at one time or another. He hadn't cared much when his mother and step-father had questioned him, but when Theo had caught sight of one, he had decided it was high-time he relocated his self-harm to another portion of his body.

He clenched his shirt between his teeth and held the broken plastic to his side. He pressed the splintered end to his side, sighing from the pressure. He prepared to slice it across his skin—

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Noiz yelped. He jumped almost a foot off the bed and the shank slipped from his hands. His shirt fell out of his mouth and he stared up at the youth who hovered over him. Aoba’s face was split with a leer. His eyes seemed to glow a luminous yellow.

“Fuck off,” Noiz snarled. He made to grab the shank, but Aoba snatched it up before he got the chance. 

“Hm, this is pretty crafty.” Aoba tested the tip of the fork’s handle. “Not that sharp, you’d need to apply a lot of force.”

“Give it back,” Noiz snapped. “Or what? Are you going to rat me out?”

“Why would I do that?” Aoba said with a light chuckle. “That’s no fun at all.”

Noiz frowned. Something about Aoba’s demeanor didn’t align with his cheery persona, which Noiz had been subjected to for several hours after dinner. 

“Are you Sly?” Noiz asked hesitantly. 

“Yup,” the boy said, flashing a toothy grin. “You must be the roommate everyone’s been going on about.”

“I’m Noiz,” Noiz said. “What exactly did you mean when you said I shouldn’t do that?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Sly said as he dropped his weight onto one hip. “I don’t care one way or the other what you do with yourself, but that Mink has a sixth sense for this sort of thing—” Sly waggled the shank between his fingers— “He’ll lecture you for hours and then you’ll be put under suicide watch. It’s all rather tedious.”

“I don’t care,” Noiz snapped.

“Is this one of those things where you can’t calm down unless you see blood or something?” Sly asked.

“Not your business, asshole.”

“Oh, I like you,” Sly leered as he bent over Noiz. 

Noiz swallowed as those penetrating yellow eyes locked with his. 

“Well, I would hate to deprive of your base needs,” Sly said. Suddenly his hand shot out and he knocked Noiz back on the bed. The blue-haired boy hopped up on the mattress and straddled him.

“What the fuck?” Noiz demanded.

Sly yanked up his shirt and suddenly his hand slashed out. Noiz winced slightly as he felt the pressure of the shank scrape across his chest. Noiz glanced down. A thin wound had opened on his chest below his left nipple. Droplets of blood beaded on his pale skin.

“Fuck was that for?” Noiz snapped. 

“Huh,” Sly said. He poked the wound with the sharp end of the fork handle. He only earned a scowl from Noiz. “Doesn’t this hurt?”

“It doesn’t, asshole,” Noiz growled. “Now cut it out.”

“How come?” Sly asked as he dropped the shank onto the bed and leaned over Noiz. He dropped one hand to the mattress. With the other he pressed down on Noiz’s chest. 

“It just doesn’t,” Noiz gritted out. He averted his eyes from Sly’s face and stared at the far wall. He could feel his body heating up from the presence of the other male. He bit his lip and willed himself to stay calm.

“Huh, fascinating,” Sly said as he lightly caressed his hand across Noiz’s chest. 

Blood smeared over his pale skin. Sly leaned down. Noiz could feel the other youth’s hot breath on his nipple. He shivered. Suddenly Sly lunged forward and locked his teeth on Noiz’s nipple. Noiz gasped in surprise, his eyes widening. Sly gave the bud a vicious twist before sitting back to inspect Noiz’s reaction. 

Noiz’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes glistened as he stared up at the boy. It was common for him to tear up when he should have felt pain. His breathing was coming in shallow gasps. Sly frowned as he dropped down on Noiz’s hips.

“Nothing,” he began, but suddenly his eyes grew wide.

Noiz grimaced and looked away from Sly’s face. He felt like his face was going to catch fire. Sly ground his hips down. Noiz gritted his teeth. 

“Fuck, you got hard from having your nipple bit, or was it just my sexy allure?” Sly smirked.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Noiz snapped. He tried to remain as composed as possible, but that was hard to do what with him being straddled and Sly's ass was grinding down on his erection.

“Oh, so you did like it when I bit your nipple,” Sly said. He reached up and tweaked the bruised nub.

Noiz gasped and quivered. Sly continued to abuse his nipple. He panted and his hands shot up to grip Sly’s knees.

“Sly,” he stuttered, “stop, please.”

“Fuck,” Sly hissed. He lunged forward and slammed his mouth against Noiz’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Noiz gasped, giving Sly ample opportunity to slip his dexterous tongue past Noiz’s teeth. Noiz could feel his dick throb. He wasn’t going to lie; the older male _did_ have a sexy allure. But Noiz was much too petrified by a certain thought to get into the make-out session. Did Sly think he was easy? Was that why he was currently trying to choke Noiz with his tongue? Noiz wasn’t a slut; he didn’t put out for just anyone. He sure as hell was going to hook-up with his roommate at a fucking psych ward on the first fucking night. 

Noiz bit down hard on Sly’s tongue. The blue-haired youth gasped and bucked backward. He stared down at Noiz with a pout. Before he could complain about the unjust—in his eyes—assault, Noiz’s fist lashed out and slammed into his cheek. Sly grunted as he was propelled out of Noiz’s lap and landed on the mattress beside him.

“Fuck you doing?” Noiz snarled. “You think I’m easy or some shit. I’m not a slut.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sly said quickly as he pushed himself off the bed. He took a step back and raised his hands. “I never presumed as much. I never would. I just thought you might want to have some fun on your first night.” 

“Asshole,” Noiz muttered under his breath. He was surprised by Sly’s reaction. He had expected the boy to try to push him more; maybe even confirm that he did think of Noiz as such. 

Before Sly could say anything else, the door of their bedroom opened. A bespectacled warden with shocking blond hair leaned against the doorframe. The light from the hallway spewed past him into the small bedroom. Noiz quickly yanked his shirt down to cover his chest.

"Sly, are you harassing your roommate?"

"Nope," Sly said as he sat down on his bed with his hands still raised, this time to reinforce his claim of innocence. "Not me. Never." He was smirking as he spoke. 

"Rules state you can't hook up with your roommate or any patient for that matter," the warden continued. There was a bemused smile on his face. "I thought we'd gone over this already."

"What about wardens?" Sly asked as he leaned leaned back on his elbows.

"Sly." The blond male rolled his eyes.

"I am a slut," Sly explained as he looked at Noiz and flashed him a quick wink.

"Go to sleep," the warden said. He stepped out of the doorway and closed the door.

Noiz crawled under the thin comforter and curled up on his side. He heard Sly chuckle lightly, but he tried to ignore the other male. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. Eventually, he did slide into a fitful rest.

* * *

"Roll call."

The voice soaked into Noiz's consciousness. He blinked awake and sat up. The same warden from the night before was at the door. He held a clipboard.

"Morning, Noiz," he said. "Sly, you're still here."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Virus," Sly said. He was lying on his back in bed with his feet propped up on the wall. 

"I'm Virus," the warden said as he held his hand out to Noiz.

Noiz took it tentatively. Virus had a firm grip. His icy blue eyes scanned over Noiz's slender frame. Noiz flushed and pulled his hand back quickly.

"I hope you got some sleep last night," Virus continued. He checked off the roommates on his list. "Get your butts to breakfast." He closed the door behind him.

Noiz slid out of bed. He went to the dresser that stood against the opposite wall from his bed. He pulled out fresh clothes and changed quickly. He knew Sly was watching him and he tried to ignore the weight of the male's gleaming eyes. Sly swung his legs onto the bed and hopped to his feet.

"Lez go," he said as he left the room.

Noiz padded after him. Sly led the way to the dinning hall. Noiz followed the other patient; they got their food and went to sit with the same group as yesterday.

"Morning," Mizuki said with a bright smile as he spotted Sly and Noiz approach. He was buttering his toast with a plastic knife. 

"'Sup," Sly drawled as he plumped down next to Koujaku. He nuzzled his face against the other male's shoulder. "Morning, sunshine."

"Fuck. It's you," Koujaku said around a spoonful of yogurt. He shoved Sly's head off his shoulder.

Noiz sat down beside the masked, white-haired youth from yesterday. The boy looked over at him with wide, pink eyes. Noiz saw the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiled. 

"Hi, Noiz" he said. 

"Uh, hi..."

"Clear," the boy said with a small nod.

Noiz hummed quietly. He had never been very good at learning names. He'd never had much reason to anyway since the only people he really ever interacted with were his family and his step-father. He turned his attention to the food in front of him and picked at it half-heartedly. Animated banter filled the air around him. Sly never shut up, Noiz was learning. His mouth worked a mile-a-minute, spewing sexual innuendos and dirty jokes. Noiz could practically see smoke rising from Koujaku's ears as he was forced to endure Sly's animated tirade. Clear had tried to engage Noiz in conversation, but Noiz had only supplied soft 'hm's and shrugs. 

When breakfast was over, the wardens on duty, which no longer included Virus, led the patients into the group therapy room. Noiz sat down between Clear and Mizuki.  Mink walked into the room at exactly nine o'clock. He called a cheery greeting and got a few responses in return. He sat down in the open chair beside Clear. 

"Let's do introductions," Mink said. "Clear?" He glanced at the smaller male beside him.

"Hi, I'm Clear," the boy said in his bubbly voice. His cheeks were flushed a soft pink as he spoke. "I have mirrored-self misidentification."

"Thank you, Clear," Mink said. "Noiz?"

"I'm Noiz," Noiz said. He shrugged and looked over at Mink. 

The doctor didn't press him to say anything further and moved on to Mizuki. Noiz zoned out as the introductions continued, but he was pulled back into focus when Sly's sneering voice reached his ears.

"Hi, Mink," the blue-haired boy drawled. He had his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he smiled at Mink. 

"Good morning, Sly," Mink replied without a hint of response to the lewd once-over Sly was giving him.

"I'm Sly. I'm Aoba's better-half." His words earned a derisive snort from Koujaku. "Aw, Koujaku~ why are you never happy to see me?" He pouted.

Mink moved the introductions along before Koujaku could engage Sly in an altercation. When they had made it around the circle, Mink gave a few short announcements. Apparently it was movie night tonight and there would be a vote for what they would watch during lunch. He mentioned a few names of patients who had recently been released. Noiz rolled his eyes. It was obvious Mink was bringing them up to show that people really did get better and everything would be OK. Noiz wanted to gag. Get better, huh? Like hell he could get better. The disorder he had that made it impossible for him to feel pain was here to stay. He'd been diagnosed young; he still remembered his mother weeping when the doctor's told her that he'd be a freak for life. 

"Noiz?"

Noiz looked up. Mink was watching him. His blue-green eyes were soft as he scanned Noiz's face.

"Yeah," Noiz asked as he shifted slightly in his seat. He brought his arms over his chest. Sly's words from the night before came back to him. Something about Mink's piercing, but not intimidating stare made it feel like he could see through Noiz's shirt to all the cuts and scars beneath it.

"How have you been adjusting?" Mink asked him. 

"Fine," Noiz said. 

"Would you like to elaborate?" Mink asked. He seemed to have a thing for people 'elaborating'.

"Um," Noiz said. He wanted to get attention away from him as quickly as possible, so he gave Mink an answer he wanted to hear. "It's been a little overwhelming, but not too bad."

"What about it overwhelms you?"

"Everything's new," Noiz said with a shrug. "So it takes a little getting used to."

Mink seemed satisfied with his answer since he moved on. He looked across the circle to where Sly sat. The boy raised his eyebrows expectantly when Mink's gaze fell on him. 

"Sly," Mink said. "I was wondering if you'd like to talk about the fight you had with Koujaku yesterday."

"It was just a little tussle," Sly said with a small roll of his shoulders. "You know us; we always get into disagreements."

"And why is that?"

"Because he's so sensitive." Sly's voice took on a babying tone as he looked over at Koujaku.

"It's not because you enjoy provoking him?" Mink asked. 

"Oh, well we all know  _that_ 's the case," Sly said with a boisterous laugh, "but how could I not? It's so fun seeing him lose it."

"Sly, you might find it amusing," Mink said, "but provoking Koujaku doesn't help with his process. Now, you hadn't fronted in a while until yesterday. What are your thoughts on that?"

"Mm," Sly hummed with a shrug. "It gets a little boring being crammed in the back of Aoba's head. I just wanted to stretch my legs." Sly emphasized this by slouching in the chair and stretching out his legs and arms. 

"Aoba has been making quite a bit of progress these last few weeks," Mink continued. "What are your thoughts on that?"

"'What are your thoughts? What are your feelings?'" Sly said in a mocking voice. "You sound like a broken record, doc."

Mink only waited patiently for his response. Sly's face clouded and his brows furrowed.

"You know how I feel about it," he said darkly. 

"Why don't you reiterate it for us."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sly growled quietly. He shifted in his chair. He looked ready to pounce from it and lash out at Mink.

Noiz caught sight of the wardens move forward a pace from where there stood by the door. 

"Why not?"

"Fuck you and your questions," Sly said. "I'm bored." Sly fell back in his seat and glared at the floor.

This seemed to be the cue that Mink wouldn't get anything else out of the boy. The wardens relaxed noticeably. Mink continued around the circle. When an hour had passed, he called the group to an end. 

"It's free time now," Clear told Noiz as they stood up.

"Oh, okay," Noiz said.

Clear quickly went to Mink's side and whispered something to him. Mink nodded and left the room with the masked boy trailing after him. Noiz followed the group aimlessly toward the common room. He caught sight of Sly and Koujaku at the front of the group. Sly said something to Koujaku and suddenly the boy snapped. 

He lunged at the smaller male, slamming him against the wall. Sly lashed out. His face was twisted in a manic smile as his elbow caught Koujaku's eye socket. The dark-haired boy hardly noticed the blow. He caught hold of Sly's hair, who cried out in pain, and threw him to the floor. Sly skidded across the linoleum. The other patients scattered, but Noiz only watched as Sly collided with his shins. Noiz tripped forward. He right himself and straightened up.

Suddenly a blur of movement filled his vision. Koujaku descended on him. Noiz could see wardens rushing the dark-haired patient from behind, but they wouldn't reach him in time. Koujaku's eyes were glinting red as his fist lanced forward and smashed into Noiz's face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the overall plot but not the small scenes so in other words i don't really know what i'm doing


	5. Chapter 5

Noiz grunted as Koujaku's fist slammed into his face. He stumbled backward and tripped over the prostrate Sly. He fell hard on his ass. He brought his hand to his nose. It came away bloodied.

"You asshole," Sly yelled. He lunged to his feet and hurled himself at Koujaku.

Mink intercepted him with a sturdy arm that locked around his waist. Sly flailed in his grip as he cussed Koujaku out. Three wardens had grabbed a hold of Koujaku. They were barely keeping him away from Sly. Mink lifted the blue-haired male off his feet and carried him with ease into his office. He gave Clear a short apology as he closed the door behind him. When Sly was out of sight, Koujaku calmed down. He jerked out of the wardens' grips and muttered something about going to his room.

"Are you okay?" Clear asked as he knelt beside Noiz and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," Noiz said. 

One of the wardens approached him and asked him to come with him to the nurse's station. Noiz followed after him. The warden asked him various questions about how he was feeling. He seemed worried that he might have a concussion. Apparently a single blow from Koujaku's fist was capable of that. The warden checked his pupils with a small flashlight, but found nothing wrong with them. When Noiz had assured them that he was fine, he was allowed to go with a wad of tissues pressed to his nose.

The day past agonizingly slowly. Noiz was bored out of his mind after thirty minutes of free time. He couldn't imagine surviving here for an extended period of time and didn't have a clue how long he was expected to stay here. Sly rejoined the group after two hours in Mink's office. He looked absolutely furious. He threw himself onto the couch beside Noiz and slammed his foot against the coffee table.

"Your face okay?" he asked as he glanced over at Noiz.

"Fine."

"Nose doesn't look broken," Sly said as he caught his chin and inspected his slightly bruised nose. 

"It's not. It was just bleeding a lot."

"Where's that asshole?" Sly asked, releasing his face and looking around the common room.

"His room."

"Fucker," Sly muttered under his breath. "I get chewed out by Mink forever and he's just lounging around."

"You did say something to set him off," Noiz said. "Didn't you?"

"Literally anything could set him. Why do you think he's in here?" When Noiz only raised his eyebrows, Sly sighed. "Alright, so I told him how I wanted to fuck Virus. Happy?"

"Why would you tell him that?" Noiz asked as he tried to ignore the stab of jealousy. It wasn't as if he had some sort of claim on Sly. He himself had said he was a slut. 

"Because the thought of his precious Aoba getting fucked by anyone other than him sends him around the bend," Sly said with a grin.

"Koujaku's gay?" Noiz honestly hadn't seen that coming. 

"For Aoba. It's seriously pathetic. He won't make a move or anything." Sly rolled his eyes. "Don't say anything about it though, okay? Koujaku would probably kick your ass if you even suggested he was gay."

"What do you care what happens to my ass?" Noiz muttered under his breath.

"Cause," Sly said as he caught Noiz's chin, "I wanna fuck it."

Noiz flushed a bright red and averted his gaze. Sly chuckled softly. One of the wardens told him to stop touching Noiz. He did and got off the couch as well. He said something about taking a piss. Noiz was trying to force his blush to die down so he didn't look like a tomato. 

* * *

The movie that had been chosen was  _Now You See Me_. Noiz was pleased, since he had voted for it. Sly, on the other hand, was far from satisfied with this. He let out the fifth loud sigh he'd released since the start of the movie, which had been ten minutes ago, and dropped his head back.

"We've watched this like eighty times," he groaned.

"Sh," Noiz said, elbowing him in the side. "I've never seen it."

Sly grumbled under his breath, but he didn't complain after that. Noiz stared fixedly at the screen. Fuck, he wanted Dave Franco to fuck his brains out. A hand slid onto his thigh and he jumped. He glanced over at Sly. The blue-haired male was staring innocently at the screen as his hand crept up Noiz's leg. They were sitting alone in the back row. The lights were out and the wardens, despite being on duty, were mostly just watching the movie. Sly's hand reached his hip and he slid his hand under Noiz's waistband. He was suddenly a lot less invested in the movie.

"Wanna go back to our room?" Sly asked.

"But the movie," Noiz said half-heartedly.

"Believe me. We'll watch it again," Sly said with a small chuckle.

Noiz nodded and the pair left the common room. Sly caught his wrist and he led the way to their room. He pulled the door opened and pushed Noiz inside. Noiz stumbled slightly and righted himself. His heart was pounding in his throat. The door clicked shut. Sly caught his shoulders and spun him around. Noiz gasped as the older male slammed him against the wall.

Sly pressed his lips to Noiz's and moaned. Noiz wrapped his arms around Sly's waist. The male's tongue darted out and Noiz eagerly opened his mouth. The kiss was sloppy and their teeth clicked together, but Noiz didn't care. He hardly ever kissed the people he hooked-up. He enjoyed the feeling of Sly's tongue toying with his own. He whined in disappointment as Sly dropped his mouth to his neck and nipped sharply at his skin. Sly worked his hands into Noiz's pants and gripped his ass. 

"I wanna blow you," Sly panted as he pulled back and stared at Noiz with glistening eyes.

"Okay," Noiz whispered.

Sly grinned and immediately dropped to his knees. He pulled down Noiz's pants and underwear. Noiz flushed as his half-hard cock was revealed. Sly wrapped his hand around it and Noiz's eyes widened. He opened his hand and stared at Noiz's length as he thumbed the tip of his cock.

"Holy shit. It's pierced," Sly whispered. 

"Yeah," Noiz said with a grin.

"I thought you had to take out piercings when you get here," Sly said. His tongue darted out and toyed with with the piercing ball.

"They didn't know I have that one," Noiz said as he stared down at Sly. His fingernails bit into his palms as he willed himself to get hard. Sly's ministrations were well-received, but unless the other male was rougher, Noiz wouldn't get hard.

Sly took his length in his mouth. The blue-haired male moaned and gripped Noiz's thigh. Noiz released a small gasp as he stared down at the boy's face. Sly bobbed his head up and down. His tongue worked eagerly against Noiz's piercing. Noiz gasped with Sly's teeth caught on the piercing. 

"Sorry," Sly said as he pulled off.

"No, do it again," Noiz said as he grabbed Sly's hair.

Sly suppressed a small wince as Noiz tugged on his hair. He bent forward and took Noiz in his mouth again. He played his teeth against the piercing.

"Like that," Noiz said. "Bite it too."

"Seriously?" Sly said as he pulled off Noiz's dick. "Oh, right. It won't hurt, will it?"

"No, but it'll feel good," Noiz said.

"Alright," Sly said with a shrug. He swallowed Noiz's length again. He tightened his jaw and pressed his teeth into Noiz cock.

Noiz moaned as his length swelled. Sly whined loudly. He worked his tongue Noiz's piercing as he tightened his teeth. Noiz hissed and grabbed Sly's head with both hands.

"Can I?" he asked as he moved his hips slightly to indicate what he meant.

"Mm-hm," Sly managed around Noiz's erection.

Noiz thrust into his mouth. Sly moaned loudly. He opened his throat as best he could and bobbed his head with Noiz's thrusts.

"Keep biting," Noiz said. His length dragged against Sly's teeth and his piercing caught every once and a while. "Fuck, that feels good."

Sly mewed eagerly. He slid his hand into his pants and drew out his own erection. Noiz gasped as he watched Sly jerk himself off as he face-fucked him. His grip tightened on Sly's hair and the boy whimpered. He picked up the pace of his thrusting and Sly moaned loudly. He jerked himself off in pace with Noiz.

"Sly, I'm gonna cum."

Sly nodded as best he could. He didn't pull off of Noiz's length. Noiz picked up his pace until he was fucking into Sly's mouth ruthlessly. Sly choked and sobbed. Tears leaked out of his eyes. Noiz came hard. His cum filled Sly's mouth. The male whimpered loudly. Cum and saliva dripped out of the corners of his mouth. Noiz pulled out slowly as Sly swallowed his cum.

Noiz sagged against the wall and stared down at the older male. Sly panted loudly. His mouth hung open lewdly and cum and saliva dripped down his chin. He continued to jerk himself off. Noiz stared down at him. Sly met his gaze without shame. Soon, he was cumming into his fist. He gasped and his head fell forward against Noiz's leg. Noiz patted his hair gently as Sly rode out his orgasm.

"Fuck that was good," Sly said as he sat back on his heels. He brought his cum-covered hand to his mouth and began to lick it clean.

Noiz gaped as he watched him. If he hadn't just cum so satisfyingly, he would have gotten hard from the mere sight of Sly licking up his own smut juice. Sly grinned up at him as he tucked himself into his pants. He stood up.

"How was that?" he asked. "You ever gotten blown that good before."

Noiz shook his head. He'd never gotten a blow job before. He'd only ever given them out. Sly laughed. He patted Noiz's cheek.

"I had fun, kid." With that, he left the room. 

Noiz watched the door swing shut behind him. Was that it? Noiz's stomach twisted. He was used to cumming and going, but something about this time made him feel cheap and used. He tucked himself back into his pants and left the room. He went back to the common room to watch the end of the movie. Sly was nowhere in sight. 

When the movie was finished and the patients were told to return to their room, Noiz founded Sly on his bed. The boy looked up when he entered and gave him a friendly smile.

"Hi, Noiz. How have you been?"

"Fuck," Noiz muttered under his breath. Aoba was back; he wasn't sure whether this was a blessing or not. He walked to his bed and flopped down on his face.

"Um," Aoba said. "Did something happen with you and Sly?"

"Nothing," Noiz said into his pillow.

"Oh, okay," Aoba said quietly. 

Noiz felt a twist of guilt, but he ignored it and tried to fall asleep. Maybe Sly wouldn't front for a while so Noiz could work through this miasma of tedious emotions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the kudos and comments. i greatly appreciate all of them!

Noiz didn't sleep well. He'd never shared a room before, since his house had been big enough to fit a small village. Having Aoba breathing peacefully mere paces away from him was unnerving to say the least. On top of that, his anxiety was making him completely wired. He spent most of the night scratching his arm with manic determination. When blood came away under his fingernails, he decided to call it quits. Mink's sixth sense would probably pick up on the fact that he'd manage to harm himself enough to bleed, and he needed to be on his best behavior to convince the doctors here that he could leave. He might have been admitted by his parents, but the doctors had the last say in the matter.

With this in mind, Noiz decided to visit Mink's office the first chance he got. After shoveling a quick breakfast into his mouth, he went to one of the wardens and asked to see Mink. The warden agreed, but first he had to get his vitals taken at the nurses station, as was customary for Saturday mornings. Luckily, he had scratched up his right arm and they took his blood pressure using his left arm. After he was finished with that, the warden took him to Mink's office. The man knocked quietly and Mink bid them entry.

"Noiz wanted to see you," the warden explained. He ushered Noiz inside and shut the door behind him.

"What can I do for you, Noiz?" Mink asked as he slid his thin metal glasses off his nose. He folded them carefully in his large hands and laid them beside the paperwork he had been perusing.

"Uh, I had a question," Noiz said as he walked to one of the armchairs across the desk from Mink. He perched on the edge of the cushion. "When exactly do you think I could leave? I know it's just the third day, but this was really my step-father's idea and I think I'm fine, you know, so, like..." Noiz trailed off. He glanced up at Mink.

"I understand," Mink said with a nod. "The evaluation period can take anywhere from five to thirty days. After that, we'll be able to work out a schedule for how long you'll be here."

"So, where's the evaluation process right now?" Noiz pressed. 

"Right now," Mink said, "I'm rather concerned about you, honestly." He stood up and walked around the desk. He leaned back against the tabletop and gestured to Noiz's right arm. "May I?"

Noiz swallowed. He dropped his eyes to the floor as he held out his hand. Mink caught his fingers lightly in his hand and gently pushed his sleeve back from his wrist. The pale pink abrasions on his wrist were revealed. Mink nodded. He released Noiz's hand and fetched a first aide kit from his desk. He slid on a pair of rubber gloves then took out an anti-biotic and a bandaid. Returning to Noiz's side, he carefully administered the ointment and then put the bandaid on.

"How'd you know?" Noiz asked as he watched Mink threw the gloves and bandaid wrapper away.

"It's my job to know," Mink said with a small smile. He sat down in his chair once more and draped his arms over the arms of the chair. "Little movements like tugging on the hem of your sleeve and folding your right arm under the left are all cues to me. Were you feeling anxious when you did that?"

"Yes," Noiz said. 

"In your file it says you have congenital insensitivity to pain."

"Ah, what?"

"You can't feel pain."

"Oh, yeah," Noiz said. He scratched his chin with his thumbnail. 

"When you did that were you focusing on the act or was it just giving you something to do with your hands?"

"Just something to do," Noiz said with a shrug. 

"That's a byproduct of the anxiety." Mink nodded. "Do you feel anxious a lot?"

"I guess," Noiz said. "Just like nervous all the time?"

"Yes, that's the anxiety," Mink said. "When you self-harm, are you anxious then too?"

"No," Noiz said.

Something about the way Mink spoke put him at ease. There was no judgement. He was treating all of Noiz's proclivities as natural, which was at odds with how his mother and step-father had always behaved. They had always said there was something wrong with him. Noiz didn't doubt that Mink would agree with that, but there didn't feel to be as much negativity associated with it.

"I do it because maybe I'll be able to feel it someday." Noiz shrugged. "I like how it looks too," he whispered under his breath. "Like the blood and the scars."

"I understand," Mink said, and Noiz knew he did. "Have you ever thought about killing yourself?"

"No," Noiz said earnestly. "It's not like that."

"Oftentimes it's not like that," Mink said. "Many of the patients I see have said that their self-harm has nothing to do with being suicidal. To return to your question I would say that I will be able to give a full evaluation by Monday. Right now you're looking at a few months here, but that is always subject to change."

"Oh," Noiz said. His shoulders sagged. 

"I know most of my patients don't want to be here," Mink said with a smile, "but I can promise you I can help you." 

Noiz shrugged. Mink couldn't fix the one problem that he wanted fixed most of all. He couldn't make Noiz feel pain. Without pain, he wasn't even human, and no one would ever treat him as human. He was just a  _thing_ , like a chair or book. Inanimate objects couldn't feel pain. Noiz was nothing more than a chair that had learned to walk and talk, and people would only ever use him. 

"Your family will be able to come visit you on Sundays," Mink said.

"Like, tomorrow?" Noiz asked. His eyes were wide and he could feel panic creeping up his throat.

"No," Mink said. His eyes narrowed slightly as he read Noiz's panic. "While you're in the evaluation period, you won't have visitors. Noiz, do you not want your family to come see you here?"

"I just," Noiz mumbled as he scratched his arm through his sleeve. He stopped when he felt Mink's eyes on the movement. "I don't want my little brother to see me here."

"Theo," Mink said with a nod. "How old is he?"

"Thirteen."

"It might be hard for him to understand what's going on, but his visiting you will help you and him come to terms with this."

Noiz shrugged. Mink didn't understand, and he wouldn't be able to unless Noiz told him the whole story. He had absolutely no intention of doing that. The look of sheer terror on Theo's face the last time he'd seen him was enough to make him want to vomit. He couldn't imagine what his brother thought of him now, or what his step-father had told him. How had the man explained what Theo had walked in on? Was there even an explanation? Noiz shivered. He didn't want to think about what his step-father had told Theo, or what he had had or would do to him. 

"Noiz."

Noiz blinked and looked up from the desk, which he had been boring a hole into with his eyes. Mink was crouched beside him. His hand rested on Noiz's knee and he was staring up at him with an earnest expression. When Noiz's eyes found his, his face softened and he smiled.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry."

"No need to apologize," Mink said with a shake of his head. He stood up. "Did something I say trigger that?"

"Trigger what?" Noiz asked. 

"When you zone out like that, it's called disassociating. Don't worry, it's rather common. There are many benign forms of it. Does that happen a lot? Getting lost in thought and losing time."

"I think so," Noiz said. 

"Do you know what might have triggered it?" Mink asked. 

"No."  _Yes_. Any and all mention of Theo dragged him into the dark recesses of his mind. He shook his head to try to fight off the thoughts. If he didn't think of Theo, then he wouldn't do the disassociating thing that Mink had talked about.

"Don't worry," Mink said. "We'll work through that. This can count as your one-on-one therapy session for today. We have them every Saturday. Group will be in the afternoon today. You have the rest of the morning to either attend a seminar on healthy routines or work out in the fitness room," Mink explained.

"Uh, okay," Noiz said as he stood up. "Thank you."

"Of course, Noiz, and you can always come talk to me if you need to, like you did today. You don't need to wait for one-on-ones."

"Thanks," Noiz said with a nod. He left the room.

* * *

Noiz ended up opting for the work out option. He didn't much enjoy the thought of sitting around listening to someone rattle on at him. He'd never been one for working out, but doing something sounded a lot more appealing than doing nothing. He asked one of the wardens about the fitness room and the man escorted him down the hall past the common room.

The fitness room was rather small. The floors were covered in black mats. There weren't any free weights, which didn't come as a surprise since the hospital probably didn't want their patients bludgeoning themselves or anyone else. A couple of weight machines stood in the room and the far wall was lined with tread mills. Large bay windows, lined with chicken wire, looked out over the woods that surrounded the back of the hospital. Koujaku, Mizuki, and Aoba were already in the fitness room.

"Hi, Noiz!" Aoba called when he spotted him. He waved him over.

The trio were standing by the tread mills. They were all dressed in athletic clothes. Noiz didn't own any shorts and he certainly didn't want to wear t-shirts here. Koujaku and Aoba both had their hair tied back in high ponytails, though Koujaku's bangs still concealed the right side of his face. Noiz flushed slightly. They were all exceptionally good-looking, even Koujaku for all his glowering. 

"Hey, Noiz," Mizuki said, clapping him on the shoulder. "We were just going over our workout routine. Wanna do it?"

"Ah, no thanks," Noiz said.

"Figures," Koujaku said with a snort. "Have you ever worked out before?"

Noiz rolled his eyes. Was Koujaku really so overcompensatingly hetero that he had actually almost said "Do you even lift, bro?"

"Koujaku, lay off," Aoba said, elbowing Koujaku in the side. "Noiz can do whatever he wants."

Noiz took this to mean he could wander off and do just that. He went to one of the treadmills and climbed onto it. He still had his slippers on and he'd never run more than ten feet in his whole life, so he set the treadmill on the lightest setting. He walked slowly on the rotating track and stared out at the trees. The leaves were all vibrant shades of green; they stood out in stark contrast to the white-washed hospital ward. 

Aoba turned on the radio. Noiz watched the group in the reflective glass of the window as they set to working out. Ignoring the fact that the blue-haired boy was his kind and soft spoken self right now, Noiz still enjoyed watching him pumping iron. He wore a loose tank top and shorts that fell to his mid-thigh. His legs were long and looked completely hairless. It wasn't possible that they were, though, since the patients weren't allowed to have razors. 

Noiz spent his 'work out' watching Aoba in the glass. He spared a few glances for Koujaku and Mizuki as well since neither of them were bad-looking, but for the most part his gaze as well as his thoughts stayed with the blue-haired male. He still hadn't worked through his feelings regarding Sly. He had been utterly and completely dismissed by him the night before. Had Sly only wanted to get with him and now he was sated? He was a self-proclaimed slut and probably wasn't getting any from the other patients or any of the wardens, so Noiz really was his only option. This thought was both reassuring and disconcerting. It meant that he'd get to hook-up with Sly again, but it also meant that Sly only wanted him because he was the only one putting out. 

When the fitness period finally came to a close, Noiz still wasn't sure what he should do about Sly. He trailed after the other patients to the shower room. Thankfully, there were private stalls for each patient with a curtain that concealed the person inside. Noiz was exceptionally shy of his body. It was his own fault that his arms and abdomen were covered in scars, but all the same he didn't want anyone else to see them. 

After lunch was group. Noiz managed to get through it without having to talk much. Mink focused on Clear for the most part. He hadn't taken his mask off for several days, which was a huge step backward for him. Noiz didn't fully understand what his problem was but apparently he had issue seeing his face in the mirror. Group was designed so that other patients would speak up to offer insight into Clear's issue. Mizuki, Clear's roommate, talked a lot. He was clearly worried about his roommate and offered as much advice as he could. 

Once group had finished, it was time for individual therapy sessions. Since Noiz had already had his, he was allowed to use that time how ever he liked. He sat in the common room doing brain teaser puzzles. He wished he had a phone or anything that could connect him to the internet. The puzzles were amusing for the first twenty minutes, but then Noiz was dead bored. Nevertheless, he made it through free time and dinner without going stir-crazy. 

When it was finally time to turn in for the night, he realized that he'd been holding out hope that Sly would resurface. Instead, it was Aoba bidding him goodnight. Noiz had to admit that if Sly had been around things would have been a lot more interesting. He also might have gotten laid. He sighed quietly as he stared up at the ceiling. He really shouldn't be so eager to see Sly. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to even exist, and Aoba was trying to his hardest to stay in his own mind. On top of that, Sly was a complete asshole and was probably just using him for sex. Noiz sighed again and rolled over on his side. He wasn't sure how he was going to get through several months of being locked up in here, but at the very least he wouldn't have to endure any visitors tomorrow. Maybe his mother would keep Theo away from here. It was the least he could hope for. With this in mind, Noiz drifted off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

“Morning, Noiz!” 

Noiz looked up at the sound of Clear’s cheerful voice filtering through his mask. Noiz had been one of the first in the cafeteria Sunday morning. There was an extra hour to sleep on Sunday, or go to the hospital chapel for mass. Noiz had woken about a half-hour before the wardens made their rounds of the bedrooms. He had been roused from sleep by the sound of the door closing. 

Noiz had gotten up to go to the bathroom, where he suspected to find Aoba, but the other patient was nowhere to be found. One of the hall monitors, Trip, who looked a lot like Virus, but claimed not to be related to him, escorted him to and from the bathroom. Then he was allowed to go to breakfast early. He didn’t ask about where Aoba was, though he wasn’t certain what had kept him from doing so.

“Hi," Noiz said as he watched Clear, Mizuki, and Koujaku sit down at his table. He wasn’t certain why the group had taken to hanging out with him. Maybe it was due to the fact that he was Aoba’s roommate.

“Is your grandfather coming to visit today, Clear?” Mizuki asked as he squirted ketchup onto his scrambled eggs.

“No,” Clear said mournfully. “He isn’t feeling well. I talked to him on the phone yesterday though so that was nice. What about you?”

“My friends are coming,” Mizuki said excitedly. 

“They haven’t come in awhile, right?” Koujaku said.

“Right.” Mizuki nodded. “They’ve been busy with college apps and shit like that.”

“Shit like being normal?” Koujaku muttered under his breath.

“Yeah, basically.”

The group drifted into silence. Noiz poked at his eggs with his fork, but he wasn’t particularly hungry. He was a touch worried since Aoba hadn’t shown up yet. Koujaku seemed to share this feeling since he looked up from his food every once and a while to scan the cafeteria. 

“Noiz—“ Koujaku began, but he cut off at the sight of the blue-haired patient entering the cafeteria. He groaned loudly. 

It was obvious that Sly was the one present this morning. He was grinning cheekily, while Trip scowled down at him. The blond warden was talking to him a low voice. He looked very peeved, but Sly didn’t seem to take much notice of the man’s words. Trip left him with a few choice words and Sly got his food. He walked over to Noiz’s table and dropped down beside his roommate. Noiz shifted away from him slightly. This was the first time seeing Sly since they’d hooked up and the thought embarrassed him.

“‘Sup, Sly,” Mizuki said with a grin.

“Hey, Mizuki,” Sly said. He was still smiling, but there was something hollow about the expression. He hunched over his food and began shoveling eggs into his mouth.

Mizuki frowned at Sly’s less than amicable response. He shrugged and engaged Koujaku in conversation. Clear chimed in a few times. Sly didn’t say a word, which was very unlike him. Noiz fiddled with his fork and glanced over at the blue-haired youth.

“Is anyone visiting you today?” Noiz asked, repeating the small talk that Mizuki opened with.

“Fuck no,” Sly said with a snort.

“Oh,” Noiz said when Sly didn’t say anything else. 

“What about you?” Sly asked. He glanced over at Noiz with his glinting yellow eyes.

“Ah, I’m still in my evaluation period,” Noiz said. He looked down at his tray to escape Sly’s gaze.

“Right,” Sly said with a nod.

Noiz glanced down at the bench, which was shaking slightly. Sly’s leg was bouncing up and down. It wasn’t particularly bothering Noiz, but Sly was already behaving differently. Noiz reached out and put his hand on Sly’s knee. He felt Sly glance at him questioningly, but he kept his gaze on his food. Sly’s leg stilled and he breathed a small sigh.

Group followed breakfast and visiting hours would be after lunch, Noiz learned as he followed Mizuki and Clear in to the common room. He glanced over his shoulder. Sly was trailing behind him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his eyes were on the floor. Noiz had held his knee for the remainder of breakfast and that seemed to have relaxed some of Sly’s nervous energy.

Noiz sat down in his usual seat, but Sly took the chair beside him instead of sitting across the way with Mizuki and Koujaku. Sly slouched down in his chair. He crossed his ankles and folded his arms. It looked like he was trying to tie himself into a knot. Noiz looked across the circle to where Mizuki and Koujaku sat. Koujaku was watching the blue-haired patient with a frown. Mizuki leaned in and whispered something in Koujaku’s ear. Koujaku nodded. 

“Good morning,” Mink said as he walked into the room. He was greeted with a sparse chorus of greetings. He took his seat beside Clear and initiated introductions. 

Noiz gave his abbreviated introduction. He had already forgotten what Mink had called his condition and he probably wouldn’t have felt very inclined to share it even if he hadn't forgotten. After him was Sly’s turn. The boy muttered his name under his breath, but didn’t say anything else. Mink nodded and let the introductions continue.

When the introductions had ended, Mink gave a few announcements. Noiz didn’t pay attention. He was watching Sly out of the corner of his eye. His hooded eyes were rooted on the floor in front of him. 

“Sly,” Mink said. “I see you’re fronting again today.” 

“Yeah,” Sly said. He glanced over at Mink.

“Is there a particular reason why you think you’re fronting?” Mink asked.

“Take a wild guess.” Sly sneered. 

“Sly,” Mink said, “don’t you think it’s time for Aoba to face these next few days himself?”

“He doesn’t want to,” Sly shot back.

“Does he not want to? Or are you not letting him?” Mink asked slowly. 

“You calling me a liar?” Sly snapped. The blue-haired male plowed on before Mink could respond. “He doesn’t want to. It’s not a fun time for either us, but Aoba especially gets really upset about it, so, just, back off.” Sly ground out the words through gritted teeth.

“Sly,” Koujaku said from across the circle, “maybe you should let Aoba be here for this.”

“Let?” Sly scoffed. “There is no ‘let’, you moron. He doesn’t want to deal with this, which means I’m here. That’s how it works.” 

Noiz’s eyes widened at the slitted glare Sly was directing toward Koujaku. The other patient returned the gaze with an equally heated expression. Mizuki put a hand on his forearm. 

“Let’s leave it at that,” Mink said. 

The pair broke their gazes at the same time and went about scowling at the floor. Mink turned to another patient and group continued. Noiz watched Sly through the rest of group. The male barely blinked as he stared at the floor. His knee twitched every once and a while, but he seemed determined to keep it from shaking.

When group ended, Sly bolted out of his chair and left the room without a word. Noiz followed after him. One of the wardens told him it was lunchtime; he had said the same to Sly as he had passed, but the blue-haired patient had completely ignored him. Noiz just muttered something about not being hungry.

“It’s alright, Charles,” Mink said as he walked over to Noiz and the warden. “Noiz, if you can, get Sly to come to lunch, but otherwise try to make it yourself.”

“Okay,” Noiz said. He turned and hurried down the hall to the room he shared with Sly, where the other patient on gone.

Noiz pushed the door open slowly. Sly was lying on his bed with his feet propped on the wall. His arm was thrown over his face. Noiz walked across the room. He stopped at the edge of the bed. Sly dropped his arm to the mattress and stared up at him.

“What?” he said.

“I just wanted to check on you,” Noiz mumbled under his breath.

“Hm, what was that?” Sly snapped. “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“I just.” Noiz rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes flitted around. “Never mind.” He wrinkled his nose and turned away.

“Sorry, man,” Sly said as he dropped his feet to floor. “It’s just a bad day. Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Noiz said with a small smile. He turned back around and sat down on the bed next to Sly.

“Thanks for what you did at breakfast,” Sly said. He leaned back on his palms on the mattress.

“No problem,” Noiz said. “What exactly was group about?” He hadn’t followed the conversation at all.

“That.” Sly let out a heavy sigh. He stared up at the ceiling. “Tomorrow will be the day Aoba and I got adopted twelve years ago. It was…bad. We bounced around foster homes for a while since that first family sucked ass. Aoba was really upset about the whole thing.”

“How come?” Noiz asked. “Don’t kids wanna get adopted? Well, I mean, unless the family sucks.”

“Wasn’t that,” Sly said with a shake of his head. “Aoba’s twin brother didn’t get adopted with us."

“Oh,” Noiz said quietly. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Sly said with a dry chuckle. “Sure does. That’s why Aoba always hunkers down for a few days around this time, which means I’ll be here for quite some time.” He flashed Noiz a wolfish grin.

Noiz flushed and looked away quickly. He muttered something under his breath about how they should go to lunch.

“I’m not feeling up to it,” Sly said in a overly dramatic mopey voice. 

“We’re supposed to go to lunch,” Noiz said.

“Mm, gimme a kiss and I might.”

“What?” Noiz scoffed. His cheeks flared to a bright red. 

“Come on, Noiz,” Sly coaxed as he rested his head against Noiz’s shoulder. “Just a small one.”

“Fine, just a small one,” Noiz muttered. He was still blushing as he leaned down and brushed his lips against Sly. He had half-expected Sly to jump him, but Sly accept the soft kiss and didn’t push for more. Noiz pulled away.

“Alright, now I feel ready to go.” Sly laughed quietly. He stood up and walked to the door. “Coming?” He looked over his shoulder at Noiz, who was gnawing his lip.

The younger male pushed himself off the bed. He left the room with Sly, but refused to meet his gaze. He was still blushing a bright red when they reached the cafeteria. Thankfully, no one noticed or, if they did, they didn’t comment. 

* * *

During visiting hours, Noiz, Sly, Koujaku, and Clear decided to play ping pong. Things went well for the first few games, until Sly and Koujaku took it upon themselves to try to hit each other in the face with every shot. The wardens stepped in when Koujaku managed to land on shot straight in Sly's eye socket. The boys were separated and lost their ping pong privileges. Sly sulked on the couch with an ice pack on his face while Koujaku went off to his room. Noiz and Clear kept playing a much more friendly and rule-abiding version of ping pong. Neither of them were particularly good at, but Noiz found himself enjoying playing with Clear. The white-haired patient was funny in an odd way. His perpetual cheerfulness was a little off-putting, but Noiz didn't mind it as long as Clear didn't try to force him to be all kumbaya with him.

Sly cheered on Noiz in that he jeered every time Clear messed up a shot. When Clear looked like he was on the verge of tears, Noiz spiked the plastic ball in Sly's face. Sly wailed and rolled around the couch in an overly dramatized manner. Noiz lost his ping pong privileges for the week, like Koujaku and Sly had, but at least Clear didn't look upset anymore. He and Clear played some cards together. Sly sulked for a while, but finally joined them.

When visiting hours ended, Mizuki found them still playing cards and opted to partake. Koujaku emerged a little while after and decided to play as well. He and Sly provided running entertainment in their near constant bickering, but at least they didn't come to blows. Their playing was interrupted briefly by dinner, but they returned to the game right after. Noiz found that he was thoroughly enjoying himself. He hadn't thought this was in the least bit possible, but when they had to return to their rooms for the night, he found himself feeling sorry that the game had to end. 

He soon forgot about the game when he realized that he and Sly were about to be stuck in their room together for the entire night. After he'd changed into a long-sleeved shirt and sleeping shorts, he sat at the head of his bed and tried to focus on the book that Aoba had borrowed from the library cart at some point. Sly was still in the bathroom. He was probably engaging in a wet towel fight with Koujaku or something.

Noiz devoted so much energy focusing on the book that he actually managed to read a few pages before Sly returned. The other patient's hair was damp and tied up in a messy bun. He cast Noiz a quick grin by way of greeting before moving to his dresser. A warden stood in the doorway. He checked Noiz off and told them lights-out would be in thirty minutes. He left, shutting the door behind him.

Noiz quickly dropped his gaze to his book when Sly began to strip. He looked up again when Sly dropped onto his bed with a sigh. He was dressed in a loose tank top and sweat pants.

"How's your eye doing?" Noiz asked, closing the book and placing it on his bedside table.

"It's fine," Sly said. He tentatively touched the light bruising around his left eye with the tips of his fingers. "Didn't hurt too much. You didn't have to hit me too." Sly shot him a dramatic pout.

"You didn't have to be an ass to Clear either," Noiz pointed out.

"True, but he looks cute when he cries," Sly said with a shrug. He earned an eye roll from Noiz. Sly stood up and crossed the gap between their beds in two strides. "He's not the only one who looks cute when he cries." 

"I've never cried in front of you," Noiz snapped. 

Sly laughed quietly as he climbed onto the bed. Noiz pressed back against the headboard as the older male moved forward on his knees. He reached out a hand and carefully ran his fingers through Noiz's hair. Noiz bit his lip. As Sly loomed over him, his warring thoughts about whether he would hook up with his roommate again vanished from his mind. 

"What are you going to do?" Noiz asked with a challenging gaze as he stared up at Sly. 

"Make you cry," Sly murmured. He yanked back on Noiz's hair, hard, a fact that Noiz only registered because it took half a second for his neck to be pulled taught. 

He swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed pronouncedly. Sly grinned and slid a hand down the front of his pants. Noiz gasped and his bit his lip. His eyes flickered back to Sly's face. He didn't want to just jump right in; that was how it was with every other hook up he had. 

"Kiss me," he whispered hoarsely. His cheeks flushed.

Sly's eyes widened. He immediately ducked down and slammed his lips against Noiz's. Noiz moaned against his mouth and clutched at the front of his shirt. Sly's fist tightened in his hair; he had probably ripped out a few strands by now. Sly slid his tongue into Noiz's mouth, causing him to moan again. When it had grown hard for both of them to breath, Sly pulled back. They panted in unison. Noiz quickly dropped his gaze with a blush. Sly laughed quietly as he straightened up.

"Satisfied?"

Noiz nodded by way of answer. Sly laughed again. He drew out his length in his fist. Noiz's eyes widened as he stared at the hardened erection. Sly's cock was thick and curved. Noiz swallowed and licked his lips. Sly's breath caught and Noiz glanced up at him. Sly's cheeks were dusted with pink. His yellow eyes glimmered as he met Noiz's green ones. 

Noiz held his gaze as Sly shifted forward on the mattress. The tip of his cock brushed Noiz's lips. Noiz leaned forward. Sly's hand loosened in his hair to give him room to work. Noiz slipped his lips over the tip of Sly's cock and sucked lightly. Sly breathed a soft sigh. Noiz's tongue darted out and he flicked it against the slit. He slid his lips slowly over the length of Sly's cock. His tongue worked the underside of the cock. Sly grunted. 

Noiz opened his eyes and looked up. Sly was biting his lip as he stared down at Noiz. He grinned when he caught the other male's gaze. Noiz blushed and dropped his gaze. Sly brought his hands to either side of Noiz's head. His fingers slid between the locks of Noiz's hair. 

Noiz pulled slowly off his cock. His lips left the tip with a pop. He stuck his tongue out and swirled it around the tip. Lightly, he scraped his teeth over the tip. Sly's hips jerked, bumping the crown of his cock against Noiz's clenched teeth. He groaned and his hands tightened in Noiz's hair. 

"Take it all in," Sly said in a tight voice.

Noiz nodded and opened his mouth. Sly guided his head forward as Noiz focused on opening his throat as much as possible. His eyes were screwed shut tight in anticipation for his gag reflex to act up. He swallowed around Sly's cock. Sly moaned loudly and slammed his hips forward. Noiz's eyes shot open as his nose was pressed against Sly's lower abdomen. His throat convulsed and his shoulders shook.

"Relax," Sly whispered as he rubbed slow circles into the back of Noiz's neck. He pulled out slowly. "Sorry 'bout that."

Noiz glared up at him. His eyes were prickling with tears in reaction to the sudden abuse of the back of his mouth. He swallowed as best he could. Nevertheless, saliva had began to trail down his chin. 

"I'm going to move," Sly hissed.

Noiz nodded. Sly thrust back in. Noiz managed not to choke this time. He kept his throat open as Sly began to fuck his mouth at a slow pace. He squeezed his eyes shut and tears leaked out of the corners. Sly hissed as he picked up his pace. Noiz sucked in deep breaths through his nose whenever it wasn't plastered against Sly's stomach. His throat was beginning to constrict and this probably would have grown painful for now if not for his condition.

"I'm gonna cum, Noiz," Sly said through gritted teeth. 

Noiz's eyes flashed open and he stared up at Sly pleadingly. Sly had to pull out or Noiz was going to get a lungful of cum. Sly pulled out half-way and Noiz breathed a sigh through his nose. He worked his tongue against Sly's cock and Sly came hard. He pumped hot strings of cum into Noiz's mouth. Noiz moaned and swallowed as much as he could. Some dripped out of his mouth and down his chin.

Sly pulled out slowly with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. He released Noiz's head and the boy dropped back against the headboard. He was panting as he wiped his chin on his sleeve. Sly grinned at him as he tucked himself back into his sweats.

"Fuck, you're good at that," Sly said with a shake of his head.

"Thanks," Noiz said in a husky voice. 

"Like, really good," Sly said. "Fuck that was the best blow job I've ever gotten." Sly released as sigh as he dropped onto his ass. He leaned back on his palms.

"You're welcome," Noiz said with a low laugh. 

"And look at your cute face," Sly said with a laugh. He sat forward and caught Noiz's face between his hands. "I knew your crying face would be cute." He laughed in a delighted fashion as he squished Noiz's cheeks together.

Noiz scowled at him. He knew his face was stained with tears, even though he hadn't felt the pain that was associated with crying. Sly grinned. He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Noiz's lips. Noiz's eyes widened. He stared at Sly as he pulled away. 

"You don't mind if I stay up?" he asked as he hopped off the bed. He grabbed Aoba's book of the bedside table and climbed into his bed.

"It's not a problem," Noiz said, "but shouldn't you sleep some?"

"Sometimes Aoba slips back in when I sleep," Sly said as he crawled to the window and propped the book on the windowsill. 

"So you aren't letting Aoba back in," Noiz said as he shuffled underneath his covers. He rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Sort of," Sly admitted quietly. He glowered down at the book. "I just don't want to risk him fronting this week. He'll get really upset and when he gets upset, he does stupid shit."

"I get it," Noiz said with shrug. He didn't, not really. The whole situation of Aoba and Sly confused him to no end. Clear had explained it to him as two people being stuck in one body and they took turns being in charge. It all sounded a bit supernatural. "Well, goodnight," Noiz said. He settled down against his covers.

"I'll turn the lights out when the warden comes around," Sly said.

"Mhm, I'm fine with them on," Noiz said. He usually fell asleep in front of his computer with the lights on.

"Cool, night," Sly said.

Noiz hummed again as he curled up in a small ball. A soft blush was working its way over his cheeks. This didn't feel like spending the night with someone after a hook up--they weren't sleeping in the same bed after all--but there was a level of intimacy between them that he'd never shared with anyone. The idea unnerved him slightly. He liked Sly in a the-boy-entertained-him sort of way, but he was also the secondary personality of someone, and they were locked in a mental institute. This wasn't exactly the sort of place where he should get all touchy-feely.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eder wanted to see Mink interact with other patients so I had him help Clear out (poor Clear bby uvu)

Monday mornings were always terrible for Clear. He had made the deal with Mink a long time ago that he would at least try to take his mask off every Monday before group. He was glad that the promise was simply that he would try, since most mornings he could only stand in front of the bathroom mirror and stare at ‘his’ eyes. Sometimes he would reach up and pluck at the edge of the mask, but most days he couldn’t take it off. The reason he was so glad that he only had to try in order to keep his promise was because he hated the thought of letting Mink down. 

Even with this in mind, he was hunkered on Mink’s couch sniffling quietly. He felt like he had let Mink down since he had once again failed to take his mask off. The doctor was seated on the couch beside him. He was watching Clear with those perfect sea-green eyes. Clear sobbed loudly at the thought. 

“Clear,” Mink said in his low, smooth voice, “it’s okay. You tried, and that’s half the battle.”

“But I haven’t taken it off in a week,” Clear wailed. He dropped his face into his hands.

“Do you have any idea why that’s the case?” Mink asked.

Clear shook his head, which caused another loud sob to be ripped from his lips. He didn’t want to lie to Mink. If he lied, then Mink couldn’t help him, but Clear couldn’t bear to tell him the truth. He had been agonizing all week over what he couldn’t deny anymore: he had a crush on Mink.

“Why don’t you try it with me here,” Mink said. He stood up and crossed to his desk.

Clear peeked through his fingers and watched him. Mink opened a drawer in his desk and took out a mirror. He returned to the couch. Clear scooted over until he was pressed against the arm of the couch as Mink sat down again. Tori, his pet bird, shifted in his cage and fluttered his wings slightly. Sometimes, Mink would let Tori out while Clear was in his office so the patient could stroke his feathers.

“Here,” Mink said as he held out the mirror to Clear, “let’s give it a try.”

Clear carefully took the mirror from Mink and blinked down at ‘his’ reflection. The face that was revealed above the mask was pale with a pair of light, pink eyes, encircled by long, white lashes. Messy white bangs fell over ‘his’ forehead. He continued to stare at the eyes in the reflection for a long moment before Mink spoke again.

“Do you want to try taking it off?” he asked. His voice was pitched even lower than usual as if he was worried he might startle the patient if he spoke too loudly.

Clear nodded, but he continued to sit perfectly still on the couch. He breathed heavily through his nose, sniffing every once and a while to keep from dripping snot over his face. In the mirror he could see a few tears caught on ‘his’ lashes.

“Do you want me to take it off for you?” Mink asked. He had done this a few times before when Clear had been too paralyzed by fear to remove it himself.

Clear nodded again. Mink reached forward and carefully unhooked the mask from Clear’s ears. He gently pulled it away. Clear scrunched his eyes shut as Mink worked. When he felt cold air buffet his lower face, he shivered. He felt Mink shift on the couch beside him. A strong hand rested on his lower back. Clear gasped and his eyes shot open. 

His eyes immediately found the mirror. He stared down at the face that was reflected before him. Soft, pale cheeks; full lips; a small mole on ‘his’ chin. His mind battled with itself to acknowledge that who he was looking at was himself, and yet his right-hemisphere continued to deny that this was the case. Ever since the accident that had left a fragment of metal buried in his right temple, Clear had been unable to differentiate his face from that of a stranger's.

“That's you, Clear,” Mink said as he leaned forward. 

Clear gasped quietly. He watched as tears filled ‘his’ eyes. Mink had moved such that Clear could see him in the mirror as well. The doctor had a soft smile on his face as he stared down at Clear’s reflection.

“Me," Clear murmured quietly. 

Mink carefully took a hold of Clear’s wrist. The boy gasped as Mink brought his hand to his face. Mink held the back of his hand, which was only a touch larger than the doctor’s palm, and pressed Clear's face gently against 'his' face.

“See," Mink said, "this is your face.”

Clear nodded slowly as he felt his hand brush his cheek and watched the same thing happen in the mirror. Mink removed his hand and folded both of them in his lap. Clear continued to careful stroke his face. His heart was in his throat as he watched his movements in the mirror. Mink had never done something like that before; he had never touched Clear like that before. Maybe he liked Clear?

Clear shook his head. This was ridiculous; he shouldn’t even have a crush on Mink, let alone think that he liked him. Mink was his _doctor_. He didn’t like Clear. He was just doing his job.

As these thoughts raced through Clear’s head, his hands had begun to tremble. He could hear Mink saying his name, but his blood was pounding in his ears. Mink reached out and his fingers brushed Clear’s wrist.

Clear yelped and dropped the mirror. It shattered on the floor at his feet. 

“I’m sorry; I’m sorry; I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Mink got off the couch and crouched down in front of him. He laid a gentle hand on Clear’s knee and stared up at him.

“It’s okay, Clear,” he said. “I’ll clean that up; you don’t need to worry.” He offered Clear a small smile.

Clear let out a sob as he stared down at Mink’s perfect face.This was terrible. He shouldn’t _like_ his doctor like this. 

“Clear, what’s wrong?” Mink asked as his eyebrows furrowed. “Was it too much?”

“I’m fine.” Clear pushed to his feet. 

Mink stared up at him with a confused frown. Clear had never had an outburst like this before.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again.

“Nothing,” Clear snapped. “I said I’m fine.” With that, he rushed out of the office. He couldn’t be around Mink anymore. He was so stupid to have a crush on his doctor. He felt so utterly humiliated. He ran down the hallway, ignoring the wardens that asked what was wrong. He reached his room and pushed inside. Mizuki was out, for which he was grateful. He loved having Mizuki as a roommate, but sometimes his concern was too much for him to handle. Clear hurried to his bed and threw himself onto the mattress. He buried his face in the pillow. It was only then that he realized that he didn’t have his mask on. He whimpered and pushed his face deeper into the pillow. He wouldn't be able to face Mink again unless he killed this crush.

* * *

 "Noiz," Sly called from the shower stall a few doors down from Noiz's, "can I borrow your shampoo?"

"Don't you have your own?" Noiz griped. 

He heard the sound of wet feet padding on the floor. The curtain was yanked open. He yelped and spun around. Sly was standing stark naked in the doorway of his shower stall. Noiz flushed a bright red as his eyes trailed down Sly's dripping wet body. He was slender, but toned. His wet hair fell around his face. He held the curtain aside, causing his bicep to bulge. His chest was broad; his nipples a soft pink. His stomach hinted at a six pack. Before Noiz could look further down, he ripped his eyes a way and turned his back on Sly.

"What the hell?" he grumbled. 

Sly just laughed as he reached through the water to grab Noiz's shampoo off the shelf. The boy cried out and yanked his arm back. Noiz stared at him in surprise as he cradled his arm to his chest.

"What the fuck, Noiz?" Sly yelled as he stared at Noiz in horror. 

His outburst had alerted the warden on duty, who entered the shower room and hurried to their stall.

"What's going on?"

"What's wrong, Sly?" Noiz said at the same time as the warden spoke.

"The water is fucking scalding, dumb ass!" Sly snapped. He pushed Noiz aside, and, daring the boiling water, grabbed the knob and yanked it to a colder setting. He let out a relieved sigh as cold water poured over his arm.

Noiz stared at him in confusion. He was unable to feel the temperature of the water; he would always just turn the water on and jump under the flow. He felt a little bad that Sly had hurt himself, but he didn't understand why the boy was freaking out.

"Did you burn yourself?" Sly demanded. He grabbed Noiz's shoulders and stared him up and down intently.

"Sly, cut it out," Noiz gasped in embarrassment.

Sly spun him around and looked him over.

"Your skin's all pink," Sly said. "You could've burned yourself."

"Fuck off," Noiz mumbled. He wrapped his arms around himself and glowered at Sly over his shoulder. It was impossible for him to hide the multitude of scars that covered his body. He had changed multiple times in front of Sly, but he had always pretended he wasn't there to give himself relief, but he couldn't ignore this sort of scrutiny.

"Sly, that's enough," the warden said. "Go back to your shower and finish up." 

Sly grumbled under his breath, but he snatched up Noiz's shampoo and marched back to his shower. They had been the only one's in the bathroom since it was almost lights-out. Noiz was grateful for this fact since it meant no one else had witnessed the scene.

"Noiz," the warden said as he stared down at the patient.

"What? You checking me out?" Noiz growled.

The warden flushed brightly and looked away.

"No," he muttered. "If you can't feel how hot it is, we'll have to monitor the water temperature," he went on in a more confident voice, though he continued to stare anywhere but at Noiz. "I'll let Mink know."

"Whatever," Noiz muttered. He shut off the water and marched out of the shower. He grabbed his towel, wrapped it around himself, and picked up his pile of clothes. He didn't bother getting dressed before he hurried back to his room. Hardly anyone would be in the halls at this hour, and he was too pissed off at Sly for his breach of privacy to want to spend anymore time in the bathroom.

When he reached his room, he dumped his clothes on the floor and pulled on sweatpants and long-sleeved shirt. He climbed into bed and threw the covers over his head. He hated that Sly had seen him naked without his permission. It was one thing when Noiz changed in front of him--at least then Noiz consciously knew he was going to be naked in front of the other male.

The door of the bedroom opened. He heard footsteps approach his bed.

"I'm sorry," Sly said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Noiz didn't answer. After a moment, Sly moved to his own  bed. Noiz heard the springs creak as Sly climbed into bed. He released a small sigh and shifted beneath his covers. It meant a lot to him that Sly had apologized. Sly hadn't struck him as the type of person to apologize, or admit he had done something wrong. He never did when he pissed Noiz off. Noiz had always been easy to annoy, which manifested in him opting for sullen silences, and Sly was very good at annoying everyone in the ward. 

Regardless of Sly's constant, annoying antics, he and the other patient had hooked up every night since Sunday; it was Thursday now. Noiz made it clear each time that he was only comfortable with his clothes on. Sly wasn't at all bashful about his body and more often than not he ended up naked by the time things were over. They hadn't had sex yet and Sly hadn't pushed for it, though his hands had wandered to Noiz's ass once or twice before Noiz put a definitive end to that.

After several minutes of sulking under the covers, Noiz got out of bed. The ward's patients were expected to keep their rooms tidy at all times. Though the janitors saw to the common spaces, Mink expected the patients to keep their own rooms clean. Noiz walked to the pile of clothes he had abandoned at the foot of his bed. He knelt to pick them up. He could feel Sly's eyes on him as he went to the laundry basket by his dresser and dumped the clothes, save for his jeans, in it. He folded his jeans and put them neatly in the second drawer.

Sly's strong arms wrapped around his waist. He yelped, causing the older male to chuckle in his ear. He hadn't even heard Sly move. Sly nuzzled against Noiz's cheek.

"Are you still mad at me?" he whined.

"Yes," Noiz said shortly as he gripped the edge of the drawer.

"I'm sorry," Sly whispered. He dragged his tongue over the shell of Noiz's ear.

Noiz gasped and his hips jerked. Sly laughed again as he began to nibble his way down Noiz's neck. Suddenly, the door began to creak open. Sly was across the room in a matter of seconds. He was leaning against his dresser nonchalantly by the time the warden had opened the door entirely. 

"Lights out," the man said. 

"Sure thing," Sly said with a grin. He started toward his bed to reinforce this claim.

Noiz was too busy blushing and staring at the floor to respond. The warden nodded and flicked off their light switch. He closed the door. As soon as the lock had clicked, Sly was pressed against Noiz's back once more. 

"I don't want you to be mad at me," he purred as he slid his hands over Noiz's chest. 

"I am," Noiz stuttered as Sly began to play with his nipples through his shirt.

"Are you sure?" Sly breathed. He ground his crotch against Noiz's ass.

"Yes," Noiz said with a gasp. 

Sly laughed quietly as he slid a hand into Noiz's pants and drew out his slowly hardening length. Noiz whimpered as Sly gripped his dick in his strong hand. His roommate dug his teeth firmly into the flesh of Noiz's shoulder. Noiz cried out and rutted his hips back.

"Still mad?" Sly asked as he began to jerk Noiz off.

"Y-yes," Noiz panted as he pushed his hips back. He could feel Sly's erection pressing against his ass and he moaned loudly.

Sly hummed quietly. He slid his other hand down Noiz's spine. When he reached the edge of Noiz's pants, he slowly pushed his fingers beneath the waistband. 

"Let me make it up to you," he said. He nibbled Noiz's earlobe, causing the boy to gasp quietly.

Noiz nodded eagerly. He could feel Sly's grin against the side of his neck. Sly pulled his hand away from Noiz's pants. He fished around in his pocket before pulling something out. 

"What are you doing?" Noiz looked over his shoulder and looked down at Sly's hand. 

Sly had pulled out a small tube of lube and was dexterously applying the liquid to his fingers.

"Where did you get that?" Noiz asked.

"Trip," Sly said shortly.

"Why--" Before Noiz could finish his query, Sly had yanked down his pants. He gasped as cold air buffeted his ass. All this time, Sly had been lazily jerking him off. Without anything close to 'pain', Noiz wouldn't cum though.

Sly slid his lubed fingers against the crack of Noiz's ass. Noiz gasped and pushed his ass back. Sly pressed his forefinger against Noiz's entrance. Noiz could feel his heart trying to escape his chest as Sly slowly worked his finger past the ring of muscle. He whined as his ass stretched around the digit. 

"Fuck," Sly whispered as he pushed his finger in further. "You're so fucking tight."

Noiz whimpered and pushed his ass back, trying to bury Sly's finger deeper inside of him. Sly, however, pulled his finger out all of sudden. Noiz whined. He didn't have to worry, though, since Sly was suddenly pushing two fingers inside of him. 

"This doesn't hurt, right?" Sly said tightly.

"N-no," Noiz panted as his ass stretched. "Put in another." He looked at Sly over his shoulder. His cheeks were dusted with pink and his eyes glistened desperately.

Sly's eyes widened. He fucked his fingers in and out of Noiz slowly, but made no move to add another.

"Are you sure?" he said as his fist tightened around Noiz's cock.

"Mm-hm," Noiz said, nodding quickly.

Sly swallowed. He carefully pulled his fingers out. He released Noiz's length and took the lube out of his pocket again. He dribbled some more onto his fingers and spread the liquid around before pushing three fingers in. Noiz quickly turned his head against his shoulder and bit down on his own flesh to keep his cry from being heard. It didn't hurt in the slightest, but the  _stretch_ was filling him with aching pleasure. His dick throbbed and he whimpered as he pushed his ass back.

"Holy shit, Noiz," Sly whispered as he began to thrust his fingers in and out quickly. "Fuck, can I put it in?"

"Yes," Noiz whimpered desperately. Any hesitation he had felt the previous nights had completely vanished from his mind, which was now clouded in pleasure. "Please."

Sly hissed quietly. He dragged his fingers out slowly, curling them slightly as he did so. Noiz grunted and his eyes rolled back in his head. Sly quickly drew his length out of his pants. He dripped the rest of the lube onto his cock and coated his entire length.

"I don't have a condom," he said, "but I swear I'm clean."

"S-same," Noiz said. 

"You're okay with it?" Sly asked as he carefully brought the head of his cock to Noiz's twitching opening.

"I've never used a condom," Noiz admitted. His grip on the drawer tightened and he glanced at Sly over his shoulder.

"And you don't have anything, right?" Sly said as he pressed his cock against Noiz's entrance.

"I don't," Noiz snapped indignantly.

"Hey, hey, just checking," Sly said through gritted teeth as he pushed his dick into Noiz's hole.

Noiz gasped and dropped his head against the drawer. His ass stretched around Sly's dick as the other male slowly pushed inside of him. Noiz began to pant and his ass clenched around Sly's cock. 

"Shit, feels like you're trying to push me out," Sly grumbled.

"S-sorry, it's been awhile," Noiz said.

"It's okay," Sly said. 

"You can just ram it in," Noiz said.

"Holy shit," Sly whispered. He paused for a moment. His hands dropped to Noiz's hips and he adjusted himself slightly, causing Noiz to whine loudly. "Okay, I'm gonna put it in." Sly shoved in all the way without an ounce of hesitation.

Noiz's mouth gaped open around a silent cry. His passage twitched and spasmed around Sly's cock. He drew in a trembling breath. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He could feel Sly's fingertips digging into his hips with bruising force.

"Fuck, Noiz, are you okay?" Sly whispered as he resisted the urge to move.

"F-fine," Noiz said around a short sob.

"Are you sur--?"

"Move, please," Noiz gasped. "Please."

Sly pulled out and thrust back in without preamble. Noiz whined loudly and bit his lower lip hard enough to taste blood. Sly grunted quietly as he began to fuck Noiz at an excruciating pace. Noiz whimpered as his cock slapped against his abdomen. He could feel precome dripping onto his stomach. Every thrust sent pleasure radiating through his body. His toes curled and he let out a long moan. 

"Fuck, Noiz, you're so tight," Sly purred. "That's it. Push your ass back. Yeah, like that. Fuck, you look good."

Noiz whined as Sly's dirty talk went straight to his cock. His back arched and he pushed his ass back against Sly's hip with every thrust.

"Good boy," Sly said. "You look good getting fuck. I can't believe you can take it all like this. Good boy."

Noiz whimpered and his head began to spin. Sly continued to hammer into him at a pace that probably would have broken anyone without his pain tolerance. Sly continued to praise him and his hands dug into Noiz's ass. Noiz's vision blurred. Sly's words spun around his mind and began to distort. Every utterance of 'good boy' sent a pang through his chest. His hands dug into the wood of the drawer. His knees buckled. 

_ Good _ _boy_.

Noiz cried out as a very different voice bombarded his ears. His head rolled to the side and he stared at the doorway. His vision shivered. A form began to manifest in the doorway. Noiz gasped. A small boy appeared before his eyes; his face was twisted in horror as his eyes met Noiz's. Noiz's heart ricocheted against his chest. The sound of flesh against flesh filled his ears.

"Stop," he whispered. His head spun and his knees almost gave way.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist.

"Stop!" Noiz cried out.

"Noiz, Noiz, what's wrong?" 

Noiz's mind was pulled out of the past by the sound of Sly's voice saying his name. The boy pulled out quickly and he held Noiz's trembling body against his chest.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His tone was laced with panic as he leaned over Noiz's shoulder. His soft hair brushed Noiz's cheek.

"I-I...it--I'm..." Noiz stumbled over the words as he tried to articulate his thoughts.

"It's okay, don't worry, it's okay," Sly said as he gently pulled up Noiz's pants. He tucked himself into his own and lifted Noiz into his arm. He carefully carried the younger male to his bed and laid him on the mattress. He crouched beside the bed and began stroking Noiz's hair. "Hey, it's okay. Just breath. Was it too much for you?"

Noiz made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. His eyes were clenched shut as he tried to get his breathing under control. Sly continued to murmur assurances as petted Noiz's hair. After a few minutes, Noiz had gotten his breathing under control. He blinked his eyes open slowly and stared up at Sly's face. Sly looked back at him. His face was creased with concern. 

"Noiz, who's Theo?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mention of sexual assault, parental abuse, self harm  
> 

It had started about a month after his mother had remarried. Noiz had been in ninth grade, at least he would have been if he wasn't being homeschooled. Noiz hadn't liked the man his mother had married, and not just because of his general distrust of people. Something about the man's affect made Noiz feel uneasy. The man's son, on the other hand, he found absolutely wonderful. Theo was a bright, kind boy about three years Noiz's junior. No matter how many times Noiz gave him the cold shoulder or actually locked his door in the boy's face, Theo continued to follow him around and never stopped being nice to him. Even when they were preparing dinner together, "as a surprise for our parents" according to Theo, and Noiz had accidentally slit his palm open, Theo hadn't freaked out about Noiz's lack of pain. The amount of blood seeping from his hand made the boy grimace and worry over Noiz's well-being, but he never called him a freak, even after Noiz's mother explained Noiz's condition to him.

Noiz's suspicion of his stepfather came to fruition one night when the man crept into his room. He held Noiz down on the bed and told him he'd do this to Theo if he didn't keep his mouth shut. Noiz had taken it all in stunned silence. He also kept quiet, and thus his illicit sexual relationship with his stepfather blossomed. The man had him perform degrading and disgusting acts, even going so far as calling him 'daddy'. Noiz took it all. His warped understanding of how human relations worked--use or be used--told him that this was perfectly normal. All the same, a feeling of self-loathing had lodged in the pit of his stomach. He had taken to trying to empty the feeling from his body through cutting. His stepfather never mentioned the cuts even though he saw them all.

It wasn't until Theo had come home early from school and walked in on his father pinning Noiz to the dresser and thrusting in to him erratically that Noiz had realized that what he was doing was 'wrong'. Theo's face had twisted into a look of abject terror. Noiz had cried out for his stepfather to stop, but he couldn't get him to until he whispered his stepbrother's name. His stepfather had looked up and his eyes had fallen on Theo's face. He had finished inside of Noiz. Noiz had bit down on his hand hard enough to taste blood to keep from vomiting. Theo had run to his room and locked himself inside.

The next day, Noiz's mother and stepfather had taken him to the ward. His mother of course didn't know the extent to why he was being locked away. He still didn't know what his step-father had told Theo about what the boy had seen. Maybe he had said that Noiz had forced himself on him. Either way, Theo hadn't come out to say goodbye, which Noiz couldn't entirely hold against him because he probably hadn't known that Noiz wouldn't be coming back.

Noiz told all of this to Sly in a monotone as his eyes stung. Only a couple of tears worked their slow way down his cheeks. Sly had listened in silence as he rubbed slow circles into the back of Noiz's neck. Noiz let out a quiet sigh when his tale came to a close. He tightened his arms around his knees. Sly shifted on the mattress beside him. He remained quiet for some time. Noiz wasn't sure if he was waiting for him to continue, but Noiz had nothing else to say.

"I..." Sly began. His voice faltered. "I can't imagine what that must have been like," he finally said in a quiet voice. "I can empathize, but I can't assume to know how you feel."

"You sound like a textbook," Noiz said as he turned his head to look at Sly. A small smile quirked his lips.

"I, um." Sly flushed. "That's what we're told to say if someone discloses something to us. I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry," Noiz said with a shake of his head. "You don't have to say anything."

"Have you told Mink?" Sly asked.

"No," Noiz scoffed.

"You should talk to him about this, Noiz," Sly said quietly. "He'll know what to do. He actually knows what he's doing. I know he's helped Aoba a lot."

"Were you even listening?" Noiz snapped. He shoved himself to his knees and kneeled in front of Sly. "I can't say anything or else my stepdad will do something to Theo." Noiz's hands clenched into fists and he could feel the pressure of his nails biting into his palms.

"He won't find out if you say something to Mink," Sly said in an attempt at a reassuring voice. He raised his hands as well as if that could help diminish Noiz's anger.

"You don't get it!" Noiz yelled at him.

"Noiz," Sly whispered, his eyes darting to the door. "You don't have to say who, but you could bring up to Mink that someone hurt you like that. It'll really help to get it all out with him."

"Fuck you." Noiz shoved Sly back onto the bed. He pinned him down by his shoulders and loomed over him. "You don't get to decide what will and won't help me. We aren't  _friends._ " Noiz spat the word at his roommate. "We're just fuck-buddies. Don't get cocky." 

"Noiz." Anger seeped into his tone. His eyes flashed a bright yellow.

Suddenly the door swung open. Trip and Virus stood in the doorway. They had on identical smirks as they leaned against opposite sides of the doorframe and regarded the roommates.

"Sly, Noiz," Virus said as he reached up and adjusted his glasses, "it's lights out."

"You two fighting or fucking?" Trip asked blandly. "It's a bit hard to tell."

"Fucking, of course," Sly said with a bright smile. All of the anger had vanished from his face. He sat up with Noiz and pushed the smaller boy out of his lap onto the mattress. "You guys are cock-blocking."

"I'll cry about that later," Virus said dryly. "For now go to bed. In _separate_ beds."

"You going to tell Mink?" Sly asked as he got out of bed.

"Not if this is the last time you two do it," Trip said with a shrug. 

"He gave you lube to fuck yourself with, Sly," Virus said as he stepped back from the doorframe. "Not your underage roommate."

Noiz flinched. His shoulders hunched and he stared down at the blanket that was rumpled beneath his knees.

"Hey, hey," Sly said quickly. "Let's not go there, alright?" He let out a light chuckle. "We're both consenting, relative adults. It's no big."

"Go to bed, Sly," Virus said.

"Night night." Trip shut the door and the lock slid into place.

"You okay?" Sly asked slowly.

Noiz could feel his eyes on him. He ignored him and climbed on the covers. He curled up on his side with his back to Sly and closed himself.

"If you don't want to be friends, I get that," Sly said quietly, "but if you want to talk about anything, I'll listen. And I won't say anything. I can keep a secret even from Aoba."

There was a long pause. 

"Well, goodnight."

* * *

Noiz and Sly didn't talk for the rest of the week. Noiz was assisted in avoiding him when Aoba returned. Just as Sly had said, he could keep a secret from Aoba; the blue-haired host had no idea what his alter had learned from Noiz. Nor did he know that Noiz and Sly had had sex. Noiz always blushed vibrantly at this thought and would hurriedly distance himself from Aoba. 

It was clear to everyone in the ward that Noiz and Sly had been avoiding each other until Aoba had returned, and then that Noiz was keeping away from him too. It was also clear to Mink at least that Noiz was "in distress". The doctor called him into his office on Friday, the day after Aoba had returned to fronting. He had informed Noiz that he was worried about the patient and proceeded to give a few examples for why this was the case. Apparently Noiz was considerably more out of it than usual and even less sociable, which meant for him about not at all. Noiz had barely registered the doctor's words since he was in the process of doing the former. 

"Noiz," Mink said. When he failed to get a response, he got out of his chair and went to the couch. He sat down beside Noiz and laid a hand on Noiz's knee.

Noiz lashed out. He struck the doctor's hand off of him with considerable force. His eyes widened and he stared up at the man. Mink was frowning slightly. He withdrew his hand.

"I'm sorry," Noiz whispered.

"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have touched without permission. Noiz," Mink said slowly. He always spoke slowly and calmly. Even when Koujaku was screaming at him, he was completely calm. "It's obvious that you are distressed, and that this started a few days ago. Do you know of a reason for this being the case?"

"No," Noiz said with a shake of his head.

"Trip and Virus reported that you and Sly got in a fight a few nights ago," Mink said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Noiz stared down at the floor. His heart clenched in his chest as anxiety threatened to choke him. They had said something? Didn't they say they weren't going to report it? What exactly had they said? If he said something that didn't align with their report, Mink would know they had been lying, and then they would all be in trouble.

"I, um," Noiz began in a quaking voice.

"Noiz, take a deep breath. You aren't in trouble."

Noiz inhaled deeply and released a heavy sigh.

"Good. Now do that a few more times...Very good," Mink said when Noiz had gotten his breathing under control. "Now just tell me what happened. No one is going to get into trouble. Don't worry."

"I just got mad at him," Noiz said. His voice trembled a touch, but not nearly as badly as when he had first tried to talk. Mink's presence as well as his breathing exercise calmed him considerably. "He was telling me I should do something that I didn't want to do."

"And what was that?" Mink asked.

"He told me to talk to you," Noiz said achingly slowly. Why was his mouth moving of its own accord? Hadn't he decided not to tell Mink anything?

"And you didn't want to talk to me?" Mink asked.

Noiz shook his head.

"Why not?" Mink didn't sound offended or put off. Noiz probably wasn't the first patient to be unforthcoming with him.

"I don't wanna talk about some things," Noiz said.

"That's normal," Mink said, "but, and I don't want to sound cliche with this, it will help if you talk about it."

"Probably," Noiz mumbled.

Mink smiled.

"Would you like to?"

"Can I take some more time?" Noiz asked. He looked up at the doctor with pleading green eyes.

"Of course. This entire process can go as quickly or as slowly as you like. Take as much time as you need."

"Thanks, Mink. Um, Dr. Mink."

"You're welcome, Noiz," Mink said with a rueful smile. "Now, there's something I've wanted to discuss with you and this seems like a good time. I've been considering putting you on an anti-depressant. Have you taken one before?"

Noiz and Mink spent the next half-hour discussing possible medications for Noiz. Noiz had never taken medication of any sort before, so he was a bit nervous, but Mink explained all the side effects to him. He said that Noiz would be given the meds after dinner every night. Most of the patients in the ward were on meds, so he didn't need to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. 

When they had finally settled on a drug and dose, Mink escorted Noiz out of the office. They walked together to the nurses' station to give them the prescription. Mink chatted amicably, but Noiz didn't pay much attention. When a cheerful voice that Noiz didn't recognize greeted Mink, he looked up. A slender person with a bob of black hair stood by the nurses's station. They were dressed in tight black pants, a white t-shirt with a dark undershirt underneath it, and a white lab coat. They had on a friendly smile and their dark eyes glimmered with the expression. Noiz frowned. Something about their face was vaguely familiar.

"Hi," the person said.

"Hello?" Mink said. A hint of a question entered his voice; he clearly didn't recognize the person.

"This is Sei," the nurse on duty said as he rose and took the prescription from Mink. "He's the director's new intern."

"Ah, of course," Mink said. "Nice to meet you, Sei." He held out the hand and the intern took it.

"Likewise," Sei said. "I just came to drop off some paperwork, but I'm glad I ran into you."

"Let me know if you need help getting acquainted with anything."

"Thanks," Sei said. He waved as he walked away down the hallway. The nurse on duty by the gate buzzed him out.

"We're all set here, Noiz," Mink said.

"Thanks," Noiz said. He turned away from the nurse's station. His eyes fell on his roommate.

Aoba was standing in the doorway of the common room. His face was slack and his eyes were wide. Koujaku, who had gone a few paces into the room without him, stopped and turned around. Noiz saw his mouth move as he spoke Aoba's name. His hand reached out and brushed the boy's arm. Aoba's elbow shot back and collided with his face. Blood spurted from Kojaku's nose. Noiz gasped. 

Aoba's face contorted in anger. His eyes flashed yellow and suddenly it was very apparent who was in charge now. Sly set off down the hallway toward Mink.

"Mink," he growled loudly.

The doctor cocked his head to the side in confusion. He stepped forward and opened his mouth to say something. The wardens were also moving sluggishly into action. Koujaku, driven by the rage that Sly's attack had unleashed, surged forward. He tackled the blue-haired boy and slammed him to the ground. 

"Get off of me, you filthy fucking animal," Sly screamed as he writhed underneath Koujaku.

The dark-haired boy grabbed his hair. He yanked the smaller male's head back and slammed his face into the floor. Two wardens converged on them. They grabbed Koujaku and tried to drag him off of Sly, who was still yelling and screaming.

"Koujaku, that's enough!" Mink yelled.

Noiz jumped; he had never heard the man raise his voice. They had drawn quite a crowd by now. Clear and Mizuki looked on with the same horror that Noiz knew contorted his face. Mink moved forward. He grabbed Koujaku's and broke his grip on Sly's hair instantly. The wardens managed to drag Koujaku away from the other patient. He was snarling and his eyes flashed red as blood coursed from his nose.

Sly scrambled to his feet and lunged at Mink. He grabbed the front of the man's shirt and dragged him forward.

"Who the fuck was that?" he snarled. He spoke quietly, despite the anger that coated his words. Noiz doubted that anyone other than him and Mink could hear Sly.

"Sly, calm down. What is going on? What happened to Aoba?" Mink asked. He grabbed the boy's wrists and dislodged his grip easily.

"Let me go!" Sly yelled as he thrashed in Mink's hold.

"Sly," Mink said in a steely voice. "What happened to Aoba?"

"Shut the fuck up about Aoba," Sly snarled. "You don't care about him; I do. I'm the only one who cares." His face darkened and his eyes flashed. "I'll protect Aoba."

"Sly," Noiz said quietly. He moved up to the grappling pair. "It's okay. Aoba's fine."

Sly twisted around to stare at him. Noiz bit his lip, but he met Sly's gaze steadily. He heard Mink order one of the nurses to get a sedative, but Sly didn't seem to register his words. He continued to skewer Noiz with his gaze.

"Aoba's...fine," he repeated slowly.

Noiz nodded. A nurse appeared behind Sly and slipped a needle into his neck. The boy gasped quietly. He went slack and his eyes fluttered shut. Mink scooped him up into his arms and carried him to the gate of the ward. He was buzzed out. Noiz watched as the gate swung shut behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure how i feel about this chapter. the plot twist came a little sooner than i had planned but i didn't know where else to go with it


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: sexual assault, suicide

Noiz stood by the ward's gate for an hour, waiting for Mink to come back. The nurses tried to get him to go to the common room, but he refused. Mizuki and Clear asked him to play cards with them instead of waiting, but Noiz only shook his head. His fingers tightened in the wiring of the gate. The nurse on duty watched him hesitantly the whole time, but he didn't try to force Noiz to leave. He technically wasn't doing anything he shouldn't. About a half-hour after the incident, Koujaku was allowed out of his room. He had calmed down considerably, but he looked a touch annoyed, most likely due to the throbbing pain in his bandaged nose. He went to the gate when he saw Noiz standing there.

"What are you doing?" he asked. 

"Mink took Sly away," Noiz mumbled under his breath. 

"Noiz, do you know what set him off?" Koujaku asked. "One second he was Aoba and the next he was Sly and then...I don't really remember the rest of it." Koujaku rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"There was an intern here," Noiz said quietly. "Sei. Sly wanted to know what he was doing here. He kept yelling at Mink. Mink asked about Aoba and then Sly flipped out and said he was the only one who cared about Aoba and that he would protect him. I told him Aoba was fine and that distracted him enough for a nurse to sedate him. Then Mink took him out there." He looked up and gazed down the corridor beyond the gate. 

"Is he coming back?" Koujaku asked.

"I don't know and neither do the nurses."

Koujaku nodded. He didn't have Noiz's diligent patience when it came to waiting so he wandered off to the common room to distract himself. Noiz continued to stand by the gate. He had never seen Sly so upset before. He had looked half-mad with anger. Noiz shivered at the thought. The alter had been so furious that he had even managed to jostle Mink out of his typical calm.

The sound of footsteps on the other side of the gate made Noiz look up hastily. Mink was walking down the corridor. His hands were in his pockets. He was frowning as he stared at the floor.

"Mink!" Noiz gripped the gate.

Mink looked up. He sighed quietly.

"Noiz, what are you doing?" he admonished. When he reached the gate, the nurse buzzed him in. 

Noiz stepped back and the doctor moved inside. He shut the gate behind him.

"I was waiting for you to come back," Noiz said. "Where's Sly?"

"I got him situated in one of the hospital rooms. He'll have to stay over night, but he'll be back tomorrow."

"Okay," Noiz said with a small sigh.

* * *

Sly wasn't allowed to come back to the ward the next day. Apparently he had bitten one of his nurses and kicked another in the face. Mink had pulled Noiz, Koujaku, Clear, and Mizuki aside after they had their vitals checked to tell them this. Mizuki had snickered quietly and Clear had elbowed him.

"What? Sly biting someone is a pretty funny image," Mizuki said.

Even Koujaku was smirking slightly at the thought. Noiz on the other hand had thought of Sly biting in a very different context and had flushed brightly. He skulked away from the group and sat in one of the chairs by the window. 

Saturday was incredibly boring without Sly around. Even if Aoba had been around, Noiz would have been entertained because he would have been able to witness Koujaku fluttering around Aoba and trying to keep his gay from showing. As it was, he spent most of the day sulking by the window. Koujaku and Mizuki invited him to workout with them, but he ignored them. Later in the afternoon Mizuki and Clear tried multiple times to get him to play cards with them, but he refused. When it was his turn for his individual with Mink, he dragged himself into the room and plopped down on the couch.

Mink tried to coax conversation out of him, but Noiz only shrugged or answered with a short 'yes' or 'no'. Mink finally asked him if he missed Sly and Aoba. Noiz had blushed and shrugged. He folded his arms defensively over his chest. Mink promised him they'd be back tomorrow. Mink had ended the session twenty minutes later, despite not winning much response from Noiz.

The next day was Sunday and the visiting day. Noiz sulked through all of group. Apparently Sly wasn't going to be discharged back into the ward until the afternoon. He just had to get through lunch and then he would be able to see him and ask about what had happened yesterday. However, after lunch, Noiz was called to the nurse's station. Mink was standing there, talking to a tall man in a tweed suit. The man had on a crimson vest beneath the jacket. A folded handkerchief peeked out of his breast pocket. Noiz froze. A tremor wracked his body as he stared at the man.

"Noiz," Mink said. He waved the patient over.

Noiz approached hesitantly. He reached Mink's side and hedged slightly behind the doctor. Mink frowned as he stared down at him. 

"Your stepfather came to visit," Mink said. "He's going to take you upstairs to one of the family rooms."

"Where?" Noiz asked quietly.

"We have rooms upstairs that families can use to visit if they'd like," Mink explained. "Is that okay?" His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"Yes," Noiz said quickly. His eyes flickered to his stepfather.

The man's face was schooled to small smile as he stared down at Noiz, but his dark eyes bore holes into him. Noiz recognized that steely gaze and he bowed his head. He would keep his mouth shut, even in here.

"I'll have one of our nurses take you upstairs, Director Toue," Mink said.

"Thank you," Toue said. 

"Follow me."

Noiz looked up at the sound of Trip's voice. The blond nurse smiled when their gazes met. Noiz looked away hurriedly. He trailed after the two other men as Trip took them to the stairwell at the end of one of the corridors. Noiz hadn't even been aware this was here. Trip led them upstairs to a hallway that was lined with doors. He brought them to one and slid the door open.

"I'll be just outside," he said.

Toue led the way inside. The room was furnished with a couch, a few armchairs, a dinning table, and several chairs. Toue went to the couch. He sat down on it with a heavy sigh. Noiz swallowed as he stepped inside. Trip slid the door shut behind him.

"How are you doing, Noiz?" Toue asked as he regarded his stepson with dark eyes.

"Fine, sir," Noiz said quietly.

Toue cocked his finger and Noiz immediately crossed the room. He stopped a few inches from Toue and stared down at the floor.

"What did you tell Theo?" he asked suddenly.

"We're not going to talk about that," Toue said silkily. "I want to hear about how you're doing. Are you settling in well?"

"Yes, sir," Noiz said quietly. His fingers twined together and he twisted them nervously.

"Are you anxious, Noiz?" Toue asked. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He smirked. "Is there something you want to do?"

"Yes, sir," Noiz said quietly. These responses had been engrained into him to the point that they were habitual. He lowered himself onto his knees in front of Toue and licked his lips as he gazed as the man's crotch. This too had become second-nature to him.

"Good boy." Toue leaned back against the couch.

Noiz crawled forward. He rested his arms on Toue's thighs and slowly undid the zipper. He pulled Toue's length out of his pants. He bit his lip and glanced up at Toue.

"Be a good boy now, Noiz," Toue said.

Noiz nodded and set to work.

* * *

 "I'm back!" Sly declared dramatically as he sauntered into the common room.

"Sly!" Clear said. He waved eagerly at the blue-haired patient. He, Mizuki, and Koujaku were sitting around a table in the back of the common room, playing cards.

"It's you." Koujaku sneered. He wasn't wearing the bandage on his nose anymore, which revealed the soft purple bruising on his face.

"How's your face?" Sly asked with a laugh.

"Hurts like a bitch," Koujaku said, "bitch."

Sly laughed. He glanced around the room and frowned.

"Where's Noiz?" he asked.

"He got a visitor," Mizuki explained. "Four threes," he said as he played his hand.

"BS!" Clear cried.

"Read 'em and weep," Mizuki said with a grin as he flipped his cards to reveal he had been telling the truth.

Clear pouted and took the discard pile, which was now his hand. 

"Who's visiting him?" Sly asked.

"His stepfather," Koujaku said. "I saw them with Mink. Apparently his stepfather's the director of the hospital."

"No way," Mizuki said. "That weird dude with the monocle?"

"Yeah," Koujaku said with a laugh. 

"Are you sure?" Sly yelled as he grabbed the front of Koujaku's shirt. 

Koujaku shouted in an annoyance as Sly dragged him to his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fucking sure. I've seen the director bef--"

"No! Not that! That it was Noiz's stepdad," Sly yelled.

The commotion had drawn a warden over to them. Luckily it was just Virus. 

"Sly, quit harassing Koujaku. You've only been back here for three minutes," the nurse said with a shake of his head.

"Did Noiz's stepdad really come to visit him?" Sly demanded. He released Koujaku and rounded on Virus.

"Yes," Virus said with a frown. "Sly, what's the matter?"

Sly growled and stormed out of the common room. 

"Where'd they go?" he yelled to no one in particular, but Virus had followed him out in the hallway.

"They went upstairs, Sly," he said. "Now stop making a scene."

Sly took off down the corridor. He raced toward the stairwell at the end of the hall. When he reached the door, he yanked on the handle desperately even though he knew it wouldn't open without a nurse's swipe card. His heart felt like it was being crushed inside his chest. He only ever felt this level of sheer terror when Aoba was in trouble. His hands were trembling as he continued to pull on the door handle.

"Sly, what's the matter?" Virus said earnestly. All playfulness had dropped from his tone.

"We have to get Noiz away from him," Sly said. 

"Sly, explain what's going on," Virus said as he grabbed his arm.

"Noiz's stepfather makes him do stuff, Virus," Sly whispered. He stopped his fruitless attempts to open the door and stared up at Virus. " _That_  kind of stuff." He hoped the emphasis would make it clear what he was implying. 

It did. Virus quickly took out his ID card and swiped it through the door's lock, which clicked open. Sly pulled the door open, but Virus shoved past him. 

"Stay here," he said as he slammed the door shut behind him. 

Sly yelled and pounded on the door.

"Son of a bitch, let me in!" he shouted.

"Sly, cut that out," Virus scolded him through the door. 

Sly snarled, but he held his tongue. He stepped back from the door and leaned against the far wall. He was still trembling. He slid down to the floor and rested his head on his knees.

* * *

 "Yes, Noiz, just like that," Toue said through clenched teeth. His fist tightened in Noiz's hair.

Noiz moaned quietly around Toue's length. He lapped desperately at it with his tongue. He had to make the man finish quickly. He didn't know how much time he had until Trip came back in. 

"Good boy," Toue murmured. He grabbed Noiz's head and began thrusting inside of his mouth.

Noiz opened his throat as best he could. He shut his eyes. He tried to imagine he was anywhere but the visitor's room getting face-fucked by his stepfather. His mind took him to the room he shared with Sly. He imagined that it was the alter's firm hands on his skull; the alter's cock he was choking on; the alter's heavy breathing. He whimpered quietly and his eyes prickled with tears.

Suddenly the sound of the door opening made his eyes snap open. He whined loudly and looked over at the door out of the corner of his eye. Virus and Trip stood in the doorway. They folded their arms simultaneously and their faces shared the same steely frown.

"Time's up, Toue," Trip said in dark voice. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Toue hissed. 

"Let go of the underaged patient, please," Virus said. The last word was spoken in a voice that could cut diamond.

Toue growled. He shoved Noiz off him. The boy yelped as he fell on his elbow on the floor. He coughed and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"Did you say something?" Toue snarled at him.

Noiz shook his head quickly.

"That's enough. Let's go," Trip growled. He marched across the room and grabbed Toue's arm.

Toue shook off Trip's grip quickly and tucked himself back into his pants. He stood up and walked out of the room himself. Trip followed him out. Virus remained in the doorway watching Noiz.

"How did you...?" Noiz asked.

"Sly," Virus said simply.

 _Sly_. The name reverberated inside his skull. Bile rose in the back of his throat. That bastard. He had promised; he had  _promised_. He said that he would keep it a secret and he had blabbed. Now Theo was in danger. Noiz shoved himself to his feet.

"Noiz, don't be angry with him. He did the right thing," Virus said.

Noiz ignored him and darted out of the room. Virus tried to grab his arm, but he dodged him. He sped down the corridor and ducked into the stairwell. His heavy footsteps echoed against the walls as he descended the stairs. He shoved through door and stumbled to a halt.

Sly looked around. His sharp yellow eyes had been on Trip and Toue as Trip escorted the man down the corridor. His gaze softened as he stared up at Noiz. Noiz panted shallowly as he stared down at Sly.

"Noiz," Sly said quietly. He made to rise, Noiz lunged forward.

He slammed his fist into Sly's face. The alter grunted in pain. Noiz yanked his arm back again but a firm hand wrapped around his bicep.

"Stop, Noiz," Virus snapped as he hauled the patient away from Sly.

Sly fell on his side and cradled his face in his hands. He let out a cry of pain. The sound made Trip and Toue look back. Mink was also summoned from his office a few doors down by the pained wailing.

"What's going on?" he demanded as he marched over to Virus.

"Let me go," Noiz snarled as he writhed in Virus's grip.

"It's complicated," Virus said with a small sigh, "but Noiz punched Sly." He took little to no effort for him to keep Noiz restrained with a single hand. For such a wiry man he was surprisingly strong.

"Noiz, that's enough," Mink said as Noiz continued to yell at Virus.

"Fuck off," Noiz snarled. "I'm gonna fucking kill him. He ruined everything."

"Noiz, did you seriously think I was going to let you be up there alone with that pervert?" Sly yelled at him. He dropped his hands to the floor and pushed himself onto his knees.

"Fuck you. It's none of your business."

"Noiz, that's enough," Mink repeated. He caught Noiz's arm; Virus released him and Mink tugged him to his side. "Take Sly to the nurses' station," he told Virus. "Then I want to know everything that happened."

"Let me go." Noiz pushed against Mink's forearm as the doctor effortless took him to his office. 

"Noiz, stop struggling. You're going to hurt yourself," Mink said as he walked into his office. He shut the door behind him.

"Good," Noiz spat.

Mink pushed Noiz down onto the couch and released him. Noiz tried to stand up, but Mink rested a hand on his shoulder and easily kept him pinned to the couch.

"Noiz, tell me what happened," Mink said.

"Fuck you," Noiz yelled. "I'm not telling you shit!"

The door opened and Virus and Trip walked in. Trip closed the door behind them. 

"Sly's being attended to," Virus said.

"I had security remove Toue from the hospital," Trip reported as well.

"Why? What happened?"

Noiz shook his head furiously as he stared at the look-alike nurses.

"Toue forced Noiz to perform fellatio on him," Trip said in an unwavering voice. His eyes were rooted on Mink.

"Apparently this is not new," Virus added.

Mink turned slowly and stared down at Noiz. He carefully removed his hand from Noiz's shoulder and took a step back. Noiz's mind spun. It felt like the entire world was crashing down around him. He whimpered quietly as violent tremors ripped through his body. His breathing came in short, faltering gasps. He grunted and suddenly leaned forward. He wretched and the contents of his stomach spewed all over Mink's pants and shoes.

"S-sorry," he whispered quietly.

"Noiz, you have nothing to apologize for," Mink murmured.

Noiz stared up at him. Suddenly it was like a dam had been ripped down. Tears flooded his cheeks and he let out a horrible sob. He trembled and cried loudly. He just sat there and wailed as Virus, Trip, and Mink all looked on. He dropped his face against Mink's hip. His sobs were muffled slightly against the man's thigh. Mink gently patted his back and murmured reassurances. Eventually, Noiz completely exhausted himself. His eyelids fluttered. Mink helped him lie down on the couch and he fell asleep.

* * *

He woke in his bed in his room. His mouth tasted and felt like sandpaper. He sat up slowly and gazed around. He was alone. He groaned quietly and his throat twitched. Between the vomiting and the deep throating, even he was feeling a dull ache. He swore quietly as his mind was filled with memories from the afternoon. He whimpered and drew his knees to his chest. Everyone knew; everyone knew his deepest,  _ugliest_ secret and now he couldn't keep Theo safe from Toue. His silence and submission had been the only thing keeping Theo safe. He was so fucking stupid. How could he have opened up to Sly? How could he have betrayed Theo like that?

He had made a horrible mistake and now Theo was going to pay. As his mind's eye was assaulted with images of his stepfather and Theo together, he crawled to the edge of the bed. He slid slowly onto the floor. He couldn't protect Theo anymore. He was useless. He had been used up completely and he served no purpose now. He slipped his arms out of his shirt and settled it around his neck. He leaned back against the bed post and slipped the neck of the shirt over the post. Useless. He was completely useless now. His only purpose had been to protect Theo and he couldn't do that now. He had fucked up and now Theo was in trouble. 

Noiz strained against his shirt. The fabric dug in his neck. He choked quietly. He pressed his hand against his mouth and bit down hard on the flesh. He could taste blood as he continued to writhe against the pressure on his neck. The corners of his vision darkened. He groaned and pushed hard until the darkness completely blanketed his vision.

* * *

Aoba had slipped back into control when Sly had been taken to the nurses' station. He had asked around for an explanation as to why he had a bloody nose, but no one told him anything except that Noiz was responsible for it. He had seen Mink carry a sleeping Noiz into their room, but the nurse had told him not to bother the other patient. That had been several hours ago. Mink, Trip, and Virus had been in Mink's office for most of that time. Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear filled in Aoba as best they could, but no one really had a clue what was going on, just that Sly had freaked when he heard that Noiz was with his stepfather, Toue had been escorted out by security, and Noiz had punched Sly.

Aoba sighed as he walked down the corridor to his room. He opened the door and stepped inside. He glanced over to Noiz's bed to find it empty. His eyes drifted to the foot. He gasped in horror when his eyes fell on Noiz. He was slumped against the bed post. His face was pale, his lips puffy. Blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth. The back of his right hand had a horrible bite mark on it. His shirt was knotted around his neck.

"Noiz!" Aoba ran to his side and quickly disentangled the shirt from Noiz's neck and the bed post.

Noiz slid to the floor. Aoba caught him and lay him down gently.

"Oh God, oh God. Sly! Sly! What do I do?" Aoba yelled. He clenched his eyes shut and pressed his fists against his temples. "Sly!"

 _Aoba, calm down. I got this_ , Sly's voice echoed inside his head.

"Please," Aoba begged.

_It's okay. Just let go. I can handle it._

Aoba 'fell' back inside his mind and Sly slipped into control. He quickly brought his face to Noiz's mouth. He felt faint breathing tickle his cheek. He checked the boy's pulse and found it incredibly shallow. He swore quietly. He laced his fingers together and pressed the heels of his hand against Noiz's chest. He did this repeatedly at an even rate. His heart was pounding and he clenched his eyes shut to keep from looking at Noiz's face. He needed to call for help, but Noiz was such a private person and already hated him for telling Virus about his stepfather. Except, if he didn't do anything, Noiz _would_ die. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth--

Noiz gasped suddenly. He jerked upright. Sly caught him in his arms and held him to his chest as Noiz flailed desperately in confusion. 

"Noiz, Noiz, it's okay. Calm down," Sly said. His voice broke around the last word. He sucked in a deep breath. Relief washed over him. He tried not to cry as he held on tightly to his roommate.

"What did you do?" Noiz snarled. He glared up at Sly, who stared down at him in surprise.

"I--"

"Why the fuck are you always interfering in my business?" Noiz said in a husky voice.

"Noiz, I..." Sly loosened his grip on Noiz, but the boy didn't have the strength to move away from him and instead simply slumped against his chest. 

"You ruined everything," Noiz whispered, "and now you had to come and fucking save me? What's your problem?"

"My problem...I care about you, jackass!" Sly yelled at him, suddenly losing his composure. He probably shouldn't be screaming at someone who had just tried to hang himself off a bed post and was emotionally fragile to say the least, but he couldn't bear the thought that Noiz was just sitting there thinking that he honestly didn't care. "I care about you and so does everyone in the ward. What the fuck were you thinking trying to choke yourself out with your fucking shirt?"

"Fuck you," Noiz whispered quietly. "You don't care."

"Yes, I do. I--"

"Sly, how could you care? You don't even exist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how legal stuff with this sort of thing works so i'm really just bumbling along in that regard.  
> hope everyone enjoyed in so far as you can enjoy these babies suffering uvu  
> also i'm so glad everyone loves sly. he's my favorite and i love writing him!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: suicide mention  
> thank you all for the amazing comments on that last chapter. sorry not sorry about that epic feels trip lmao but don't worry this is an eventually happy fic so everything will sort out  
> (edited)

**Two Weeks Later**

Noiz and Sly had been found by a warden after Sly had started screaming for help. Mink was called in. Noiz had kicked and cried out weakly as he was forced into a wheelchair and removed from the ward. He hadn't bothered looking back at Sly as he was wheeled away. If he had, he would have seen the look of grief and horror that twisted the alter's face.

Noiz was admitted into the main hospital, much like Sly had been after his episode. He had been placed under suicide watch. This entailed being handcuffed to his bed unless he went to the bathroom, to where he was escorted by a nurse. The hospital had a psychiatrist come see him the day after he was admitted, but Noiz refused to speak to anyone. Eventually, Mink was brought in and Noiz would at least answer his probing questions with a nod or a small word.

He learned from Mink that Toue had been taken in by the police after he was removed from hospital grounds. When Theo had heard about his father's being in police custody, he had gone to the police station and confessed to having seen his father violating his stepbrother. Between his testimony as well as the report filed by Trip and Virus, Toue was arrested with a bail posted at twenty-thousand dollars. Noiz had refused to tell Mink  _anything_ аbout what had happened between him and Toue. Mink had informed him that his testimony would not be necessary to charge Toue since there were three eyewitnesses. Mink hadn't been able to question Sly on his knowledge of Toue's abuse. The alter had yet to emerge since the night Noiz had been taken out of the ward.

Noiz's mother had of course found out about everything that had happened. The hospital had been obligated to report the incident to her. Apparently, though, Noiz wasn't allowed to have visitors while under watch. He was incredibly grateful for this. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing her. Mink told him that she had been trying to get in to see him, but the hospital was very strict about no visitors for patients on suicide watch. On top of that, Noiz knew, though Mink didn't say, that she was under investigation for negligence with regards to her care of Noiz.

As the days turned into a week, Noiz eventually and slowly opened up to Mink about his past with his stepfather. The doctor came to see him every day, twice a day. He had joked that Noiz would get tired of seeing him and Noiz had allowed a small smile. In bits and pieces he opened up about the abuse, which had started four years ago. Mink asked, of course, what had prevented him from saying something. He didn't ask with any amount of judgement. He had dealt with enough patients who had withheld information about abuse to know that it was a common occurrence among abuse victims. Noiz had told him about how Toue had threatened to do the same to Theo if Noiz said anything. This admittance had given Mink insight into why Noiz had attempted suicide without Noiz needing to say anything on the subject. 

Mink had informed the patient that Theo was at no risk of seeing his father. Even if Toue made bail, which he had yet to do, he would not be allowed to go home to Theo. This had relieved Noiz greatly, and had been one of the things that helped motivate him to open up to Mink. That, and the desperate need to get all of it off his chest. Mink had listened to everything he said without a trace of judgement or even pity. Noiz hated pity; he hated the way people looked down on him under the pretense of sympathy. That was all pity was at the end of the day.

When the second week of Noiz's suicide watch had come to a close, Mink had declared him stable enough to return to the ward. Noiz had been hesitant at first. He was terrified to face Sly, or even Aoba for that matter. He vaguely remembered the events following when he had regained consciousness in Sly's arms. He had said something truly awful to the alter and the guilt of it gnawed at his chest. He couldn't bear the thought of facing Sly; he would have to apologize when he did and he hated the thought.

Noiz did not, however, have to worry about seeing the alter. Sly had remained in the recesses of Aoba's mind throughout the two weeks. When Noiz walked through the ward's gate with Mink, his eyes had fallen on Aoba, not his alter. Aoba, Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear had all been told that Noiz would be returning that day. They had waited with varying levels of impatience by the nurses' station for his return. Aoba was practically vibrating with worry by the time Noiz finally returned.

"Don't overwhelm him," Virus, who was on duty at the nurses' station, told the waiting patients.

They had respected this in the form of Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku hanging back as Aoba approached his roommate. Noiz, who had finally been allowed to change into his own clothes as opposed to the hospital gowns he had worn for two weeks, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. He stared down at the floor as Aoba approached.

"Hi," the blue-haired patient said, "I'm happy to see you."

Noiz only shrugged. He followed Mink to the nurses' station. Aoba hovered behind him with an anxious frown. Mink took the clipboard that Virus offered him and signed Noiz's readmittance paperwork. Mizuki approached Noiz as Mink looked over the paperwork. 

"How are you doing, Noiz?" he asked.

The patients knew about Noiz's suicide attempt, but word of Toue's abuse and his eventual arrest hadn't reached them yet. The hospital was keeping it under wraps, which wasn't surprising. Their director had just been arrested for sexually exploiting his seventeen-year-old stepson while he was under hospital care. That wasn't a headline they wanted to see pop up anytime soon. Noiz was grateful for this. The patients could watch the news in the evenings and he didn't need his friends finding out what had happened to him at all, but definitely not that way.

"Fine," Noiz said quietly. He glanced over at Aoba, who was gnawing on his lip. 

Koujaku stepped up beside Aoba and placed a comforting hand on his arm. According to Mink, Aoba had initially been the one to find Noiz. Noiz wasn't sure how Sly had slipped into the mix in that case, but he had been the personality Noiz had woken up to. He hoped Aoba didn't feel guilty in any way for what had happened. Noiz's choices had been his own and he'd probably be dead if Aoba hadn't found him initially, regardless of what had happened afterward.

"Dinner is starting soon," Mink said as he returned the clipboard to Virus. "Would you like to eat? You can also go to your room and rest."

"I'm hungry," Noiz said with a shake of his head.

Mink smiled kindly. He bid the patients a good evening before heading to his office. Clear declared that they should all go eat. His voice was slightly more high-pitch than usual as evidence of his anxiety. Noiz nodded and shuffled after the masked patient. Mizuki offered to bring him food and he nodded. He went to the one of the tables and waited for the other patients to arrive with food. The kitchen hadn't technically opened, but those on duty still gave the early patients food. 

"Here you go," Mizuki said as he plunked Noiz's tray of food down in front of him.

"Thanks," Noiz said. He lifted his fork stabbed unenthusiastically at his mashed potatoes.

Mizuki engaged the other patients in conversations. It was stilted and awkward and Noiz knew they were only engaging in the small talk so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable or like he was on the spot. Aoba didn't join in much. Koujaku tried to get him to chat a bit, but he mostly shrugged and gave a hollow laugh here and there. After several minutes, Clear finally worked up the courage to engage Noiz in conversation. His anxiety had faded from his voice, so he didn't speak in an octave reserved for dogs.

"How was the food where you were Noiz?" he asked. He ladled a spoonful of his mashed potatoes onto Noiz's tray.

Noiz cracked a small smile. After his initial lack of enthusiasm where eating was concerned, he had decimated his potatoes. Clear had picked up on his obvious enjoyment of the food. 

"Thanks," he mumbled quietly as he took a bite of Clear's potatoes.

"It was either  _terrible_ or the best food ever," Mizuki said with a laugh.

"Terrible," Noiz admitted. The word earned a laugh from the other patients.

"Do you wanna play ping pong after dinner?" Clear asked excitedly.

"Sure." Noiz shrugged. He didn't much care what he did after dinner as long as he could stave off being alone with Aoba for as long as possible.

After they had finished eating, the boys went into the common room. Typically in the evening the patients were supposed to engage in potentially less rowdy activities like reading or watching TV, but the wardens made an exception tonight. Clear and Noiz faced off against Mizuki and Koujaku at the ping pong table. Aoba took a seat close by and acted as their ref.

Thirty minutes before lights out, the wardens finally told them to go to their rooms. Noiz had completely lost track of time during their games. He had thoroughly enjoyed kicking Mizuki and Koujaku's ass in ping pong. A light, happy feeling bubbled up in his chest as he played and he actually found himself smiling. It felt so normal to play with the other patients like this. His world might have been thrown completely out of whack, but it was steadily regaining an equilibrium. His anxiety over Toue had been mitigated when Mink had first told him about his arrest. He had been confused, disorientated, and lonely during his solitary time in the main hospital. Getting back into the swing of things in the ward was already improving his mood.

Neither he nor Aoba opted to shower before bed, so they were both escorted straight back to their room. Noiz sat down on his bed. He had actually missed the squeaky, rather stiff mattress. He watched as Aoba perched on the edge of his own bed. He was anxiously fiddling his thumbs as he stared at the floor.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Noiz asked quietly as he drew his knee up to his chest. His eyes remained on the foot of his bed as he spoke.

"Oh, no," Aoba said hastily. "We don't have--that is--if you don't want to, it's fine." He waved his hands quickly.

"I'm okay talking about it," Noiz said with a shrug. "I mean, it seems like you want to."

"I'm sorry," Aoba said as he hung his head.

"It's fine," Noiz said.

"It's just that...I found you, but I didn't know what to do." Aoba bit his lip. "I asked Sly for help; that's what I do when I don't know how to handle something."

"You don't have to feel guilty about it," Noiz pointed out. "It was kinda an extra overwhelming situation."

"Ha, yeah," Aoba said. "I did at first, feel guilty that is. I thought about how I should have come back to check on you sooner. I feel better about that since I talked to Mink. You should have seen him; he was so upset that he let you be alone." Aoba shook his head. "He could hide it really well, but he gets this little twist to his lips when he's upset. Anyway...it's about Sly."

"What about him?" Noiz asked cautiously.

"He hasn't come back since that day," Aoba explained. "I'm, I'm worried. I know all the wardens and Mink are happy that he hasn't come out because they think he's a bad thing, but he's always been there for me. It doesn't feel like he's there anymore."

"What do you mean?" Noiz whispered. His heart was stammering in his throat. His hands trembled and he gripped the blanket beneath him.

"I can usually sort of  _feel_ him in the back of my mind," Aoba said, "but now it just feels empty where he was. I was wondering--" he finally looked up at Noiz and his eyes were wide with concern--"did something happen? I mean maybe he got scared off just by the whole ordeal. I know you two were close, but did something  _else_ happen?"

"Yeah," Noiz said quietly. He hung his head. He couldn't bear to meet Aoba's gaze. The idea that he had taken something precious from Aoba terrified him, and the fact that that something was Sly made it feel like he had been gut-punched with a cement block. "I said something I shouldn't have."

"What did you say?"

"I told him he doesn't exist." Tears welled up in Noiz's eyes as the words slipped past his lips. He sniffled and dropped his forehead on his knees. "I'm so sorry. It was so fucked up of me. I was just so upset over everything that had happened. I was so  _pissed_ that he had told Virus about my stepdad, and then he saved me." He sobbed loudly. "I was so angry. I totally fucked up."

"Noiz, it's okay," Aoba said hurriedly. He got off his bed and hurried to Noiz's side. He put a gentle hand on Noiz's back. "That probably has something to do with it..." he admitted eventually as Noiz's sobs quieted down slightly. "But I'm sure he'll be back. He always comes back."

"I'm sorry," Noiz said as he lifted his head. He stared up at Sly with glistening eyes.

"You don't have to apologize," Aoba said. He sat down on the bed in front of Noiz and carefully wiped away his tears. "You were upset and confused. You didn't mean it."

Noiz shook his head emphatically. He hated and regretted those words almost as much as he hated and regretted his actual suicide attempt. When he looked back on it, he knew that the attempt had been made out of desperate confusion. He had told Mink as much. Now that he knew that Theo was safe he also didn't feel like he had completely betrayed his stepbrother. The only thing that lingered from that night was what he had said to Sly.

"Thank you for telling me," Aoba said as he gently stroked Noiz's head. "Do you need to talk to Mink?" He spoke these words cautiously as if Noiz were a small animal that he might spook.

"I'm fine," Noiz said with a shake of his head. He knew why Aoba was asking: his roommate didn't want to wake up to find him dying on the floor. 

"Sly will be back soon, I'm sure," Aoba said. "We don't have to worry." He gave a small nod to reinforce this. It was obvious that he was trying to convince himself of this fact.

"Okay," Noiz said quietly. He lay back on the pillows.

Aoba got off the bed and Noiz shifted beneath his blankets. Aoba bid him goodnight and shut off the light. Noiz sighed quietly and rolled onto his side. Now that he had told Aoba about what had happened, he felt incredibly relieved. Now all that was left was to talk to Sly when he came back, which Aoba had assured him would be soon.

Aoba was wrong, however; Sly didn't come back soon, and after three weeks, it seemed like there was little hope left that he would ever return.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: self-harm mention

About a month had passed since Noiz had returned to the ward. In that time neither had Sly returned, nor had he heard much about what was happening with his stepfather's trial. Mink told him the basics: he was still in custody since he hadn't made bail; Theo had plans to testify at the trial; the trial was scheduled for some time next month. Mink didn't give him the details, and Noiz didn't want them. Noiz didn't want anything to do with the trial. The prosecutors had tried to get in touch with him through Mink to get his story, but Noiz had made it _very_ clear that he wouldn't testify at the trial. 

Since Noiz was back in the ward, he was technically allowed to have visitors. Both his mother and Theo wanted to come in to visit, but Noiz had practically begged Mink not to let them. Mink had heard him out about how stressful it would be to see them, and how downright scared Noiz was to talk to Theo. Mink had agreed that he would need more time to come to terms with everything before he should see visitors. 

The monotony of ward life was strangely relaxing. It was punctuated every once and a while by a patient having an episode, but without Sly around things had calmed down considerably. Sly had a way of drawing the worse out of everyone. Koujaku hadn't beaten up anyone since going after Sly the last time. Everyone was happy that Sly hadn't fronted in almost two months; everyone except Noiz and Aoba.

Noiz continued to blame himself for driving out the alter. He needed to apologize to Sly. The anxiety and guilt ate away at him to the point where Mink could pick up on it. Noiz chalked the emotions up to the impending trial and everything that entailed. Mink bought his story and didn't push him. 

What hurt almost as much as having said those words to Sly was having to see Aoba every day. The blue-haired host was clearly not coping well without his alter. He did a commendable job of maintaining a happy face when in the company of Koujaku and the others, but he couldn't hide everything from his roommate. Noiz could tell that it was incredibly painful for him to not have Sly's comforting presence in the back of his mind.

Mink also picked up on Aoba's spike of depression. He would try to get Aoba to talk things out in group, but it was clear Aoba didn't want to worry anyone. He would brush off Mink's leading questions with a distracted smile and a reassuring word. After his individuals with Mink, he would sulk around the ward for the rest of the day. Noiz and Koujaku would try to get him to participate in ping pong or card games, but Aoba would brush them off and find a corner to read a book in. 

The fact that Noiz was the reason for Aoba's sadness was enough to make him want to drag a knife across his arm. Of course, there was nothing available for him to self-harm with. The wardens had been exceptionally vigilant of him ever since his suicide attempt. He couldn't even leave the dinning hall with a smuggled utensil anymore. He had tried a couple of times and had been reported to Mink. Mink understood Noiz's keen need to harm himself. Mink offered him ice cubes to hold to his wrists, but Noiz couldn't feel temperatures that well so it didn't make a difference. Finally, they found an alternative. Mink gave him a marker to draw on himself when he wanted to cut. There was something incredibly satisfying about drawing stark black lines up and down his arms, like tally marks. There was no pain or any real sensation of course, but then again there never had been. However, just seeing the lines was enough to sate him.

Noiz stepped out of the shower with a small sigh. He rubbed the towel over his wet hair. He had already changed into his sweats and long sleeve. Many of the patients on the ward were uncomfortable with their bodies so the showers were set up to have a small space outside of the actually shower to change in. 

The clanking of a curtain being drawn aside made him look up. Koujaku stepped out of his shower. He was dressed as well, though he had on a short-sleeved shirt. Twining black ink encircled his arm just below the elbow and disappeared below the sleeve. He had his hair slicked back from his face, giving Noiz a view of the half of his face that was usually obscured by his hair.

A puckered pink scar cut across the bridge of his nose. His right eye was framed with black lines. He was incredibly handsome despite the scar, and the tattoo somehow amplified his attractiveness.

"What?" Koujaku snapped when he caught Noiz staring.

"Nothing," Noiz mumbled as he dropped his eyes to the floor. He began to move past Koujaku.

"How's Aoba?"

"Huh?" Noiz paused and stared up at Koujaku, who was frowning down at him.

"How's Aoba doing?" Koujaku expanded. "He seems a bit...down."

"If you wanna know how he's doing, just ask him," Noiz said with a shrug.

"I have," Koujaku said through gritted teeth. "He just says he's fine."

"Then he's fine." Noiz started forward, but Koujaku caught his arm.

"No touching," the nurse who stood by the bathroom door intoned. 

"He's not fine," Koujaku said, releasing Noiz's arm. "He hasn't been fine for a while. Not since...Sly..."

"It's none of your business," Noiz said. "If it were, he'd talk to you about it." Noiz left the bathroom before Koujaku could pester him further. He didn't want to disclose anything about how Aoba was feeling since he didn't know what Aoba did or didn't want people to know. He wanted Aoba to be back to his cheerful self, even though it pained him to see that version instead of Sly. After all, it was his fault Aoba was sad. Maybe he would mention to Aoba that Koujaku was worried about him, Noiz mused as he returned to his room. 

* * *

 The next day proved to be just as mundane as the multitude of others that had proceeded it. Noiz was becoming increasingly bored with life on the ward. He also missed Theo _a lot_. This by no means meant that he felt ready to see his brother. The last time Theo had seen him, Noiz had had his dad's cock in his ass. Noiz laughed ruefully under his breath as he meandered down the hall. 

"It's nice to meet you, Sei."

Noiz looked up at the sound of Virus's silky voice. The sickening sweet tone hadn't been the only thing that had caught his attention. He hadn't heard that name since the day Sly had gone completely off the rails. The dark-haired intern stood by the nurse's station. Virus and Trip stood beside him. They had on identical smiles as they gazed down at Sei. 

"You too." Sei's voice was cheerful, like it had been the first day Noiz had heard it, but his eyes were ringed with dark circles. He looked exhausted.

"How is your internship treating you?" Trip asked.

"It's been hectic ever since the director stepped down," Sei said.

Noiz flushed brightly at mention of Toue. According to Mink, the hospital was officially saying that the director had resigned for personal reasons. They had not cited statutory rape as these reasons, of course. Noiz wondered if Sei knew the real reason Toue had left. His stomach twisted at the thought that perhaps his stepfather had tried something with the cute intern. Noiz shook his head. The only reason Toue had done those things with him was because he had wanted to do them to Theo. Noiz and Theo didn't look much alike, but at least they were both blond. 

Trip and Virus continued to chat up the intern. They were obviously flirting with Sei, though he didn't seem to notice. It was almost comical how adorably oblivious Sei was to the lookalikes' advances. Noiz wished he had someone to watch this with and get a good laugh in. Sly would have probably found it hilarious.

Sly.

Noiz's mind was drawn back to his previous thought. The last time Sei had been here Sly had gone off the rails. Sly had gone off the rails  _because_ of Sei. Noiz didn't understand why Sei had triggered him, but he didn't much care.

Noiz turned and hurried into the common room, where he was bound to find Aoba. Sure enough his roommate was curled in an armchair by the window reading a book. Noiz crossed the room.

"Aoba." Noiz bent down beside him.

Aoba glanced up with a curious frown.

"Yes?"

"You wanna get Sly back, right?" Noiz said. He pitched his voice low so nobody around them could overhear. Everyone in the ward was hellbent on seeing Sly gone for good, except for these two.

"Of course," Aoba said quietly. He stared up at Noiz with sorrowful hazel eyes.

"I have an idea." Noiz caught Aoba's arm and hauled him out of his chair. 

"What do you mean?" Aoba asked as he let himself be dragged out of the common room.

Noiz didn't answer him. Luckily, Sei was still at the nurses' station with Trip and Virus. Noiz stopped. He caught Aoba by his shoulders and positioned him so he was facing Sei.

"Look there," he said, pointing over to the trio.

"I don't really wanna see Trip and Virus go all Discovery Channel on some poor kid's ass," Aoba said ruefully.

"No, look at the kid."

Sei, whose back had been to Aoba and Noiz, turned his head at that moment to smile up at Trip. Noiz felt Aoba stiffen in his grip. The boy's eyes went wide and his face pale to a frightening shade of opaque. He began to tremble in Noiz's grip. 

"That's Sei," Noiz said in an effort to add insult to injury to lure Sly out.

Aoba let out a shuddering gasp. He stepped back against Noiz's chest. He was practically quaking now. Noiz suddenly had the sinking feeling that he probably shouldn't have shown Sei to Aoba.

Aoba stilled against Noiz. Noiz glanced at his face. His eyes were hooded as he stared down at the floor. His expression was slack.  _Shit, did I break him?_ Noiz panicked. 

"Aoba?"

Aoba ripped from his grip. Noiz stumbled backward. The blue-haired patient spun around. The heel of his hand drove into Noiz's nose. Noiz grunted as his nose gave a loud crunch. He snorted as he took a surprised step back. Blood and snot spilled over his mouth. He brought a hand to his nose. 

"What the fuck?" he mumbled in a nasally voice. 

"Bastard." 

Two hands gripped Noiz's wrists and dragged him forward. Noiz gasped. His eyes flickered to his roommate's face. Glowing yellow eyes bore into his green ones.

"Sly," Noiz whispered.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sly bellowed at him. 

His explosive words drew Trip and Virus's attention. The pair quickly hurried over to Noiz and Sly.

"Aoba, what is going on?" Virus demanded as he grabbed Sly's shoulder. "Release Noiz now."

"You sick son of a bitch," Sly snarled at Noiz. He shoved him away from himself. 

Noiz stumbled backward. He tripped over his feet and landed hard on his ass. Sly spun. He slammed his fist in Virus's solar plexus. The man grunted and doubled over. Trip grabbed Sly's elbow and twisted his arm behind his back. Sly let out an inhuman howl as he bucked against Trip's grip. 

"What is going on?" Mink had dashed out of his office and hurried down the hallway. His eyes took in the scene before him: a bleeding Noiz, a bent over and groaning Virus, and an exceptionally volatile Sly in Trip's hands. "Sly." His calm voice seemed to resonate with Sly, and the patient stilled.

"Oh, Mink," Sly said. He gave a wolfish grin. "It's so good to see you."

"You're back," Mink said superfluously. 

"Mm, yes I am," Sly purred. 

"What happened?" Mink glanced between Trip and Virus.

"Don't know," Virus said as he straightened and adjusted his glasses. "He punched Noiz in the face and then started screaming at him."

Mink turned to look down at Noiz, who was holding the sleeve of his shirt to his bloody nose. Noiz bit his lip under the inquiring gaze. He glanced at Sly, whose slitted eyes bore into him.

"I don't know what happened," Noiz said. "He just freaked out."

"Is everything okay?" The cautious voice drew everyone's attention to Sei. He glanced hesitantly between the nurses and patients. Finally his gaze came to rest on Sly. His eyes considered him with a quizzical regard. 

Sly drew in a trembling breath. He held Sei's gaze for a moment before giving a small whimper and jerking his head away. Mink frowned.

"Everything's fine, but you should go," Mink said. "We need to settle our patients down." He nodded to Virus, who turned and escorted Sei off the ward.

Mink turned back to Sly and Noiz. He gestured to one of the wardens who had emerged from the common room when the commotion had broke out. Sly and Noiz's scuffle had also drawn the attention of the patients. Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear looked on with confusion from the doorway of the common room. 

"Clean Noiz up," he instructed the warden. "Trip, bring Sly to my office." He turned and walked to his office. He was followed by Trip, who still held onto Sly's arm, even though the patient had stopped struggling. 

"Noiz." Sly's voice held a sing-song lilt to it as he called back to the other patient.

Noiz looked up. He swallowed under the penetrating yellow gaze.

"How does it feel to get your face crushed by someone who doesn't exist?" A vicious grin cut across his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh-oh why doesn't sei recognize sly? dun dun dun  
> i hope peeps like this chapter!!! i don't know what i'm doing with plot now since i only had things planned up to the noiz x toue scene


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! i'm on vacation right now and have limited wifi, but i found a patch of internet connection to upload this! i'll be back home on saturday with hopefully more consistent updates.
> 
> enjoy~

Noiz was seated at one of the tables in the common room. About twenty minutes had passed since Sly had been taken to Mink’s office. Noiz’s nose had been patched up and he had been sent on his merry way. He had been accosted almost immediately by Koujaku who had demanded to know what had happened to Aoba. Noiz had explained the situation to him just as vaguely as he had to Mink. He had a feeling Koujaku would go ballistic if he found out Noiz had triggered Aoba on purpose.

Noiz sighed quietly. He nestled his chin against the back of his hand, which lay on the table. He was starting to get antsy. He needed to— _wanted_ to talk to Sly. He still hadn’t formulated an appropriate apology. First of all, apologizing at all terrified him. Second, he wasn’t sure how best to convince Sly of his sincerity. Sly was flippant and despondent by nature; he’d probably brush Noiz’s apology aside and then lord what Noiz had said over his head for the rest of their time in the ward.

“There are you are, roomie.”

Noiz gasped and straightened. He looked up at Sly. The older patient grinned down at him. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. He was still dressed as Aoba had been earlier in the afternoon: tight blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a yellow hoodie, which clashed horrendously with his blue hair, but then again little didn’t.

“Sly,” Noiz whispered as the alter sat down at the table across from him. He glanced around the common room quickly. 

Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear were sitting on the couch together watching TV. At least, the latter two were. Koujaku was currently glaring at Sly. The wardens by the doorway were watching the pair as well. Mink had probably told them to keep an eye on Sly. 

“How are you?” Sly asked. He still had his shit-eating grin on, but his eyes flashed with genuine concern.

“Fine,” Noiz mumbled as he folded his arms over his chest. He stared down at the garish, lime green bunny head splattered across the front of his sweatshirt. 

“It’s been quite a while,” Sly said. He leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table between them. “You miss me?”

“No,” Noiz snapped, a touch too quickly for his words to be believable. 

Sly snorted loudly. He ran his hand through his hair. 

“I’d rather talk in private,” he muttered as he glanced over at the wardens. “Maybe then you’d actually tell me how you’re doing.”

“I already told you; I’m fine,” Noiz said. When Sly raised his eyebrows derisively, Noiz added, “I’m doing a lot better than I was when you saw me last.”

“Last I saw you you were trying to choke yourself to death with your t-shirt, Noiz,” Sly pointed out. “Let me play a little catch up, yeah? What happened with your stepdad?”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Noiz grumbled. He gnawed desperately on the inside of his lip to the point where he could taste blood. It was bad enough that he had an apology to deliver, but now Sly was bombarding him with questions, the subject of which he didn’t want to think about in the least.

“Noi—“

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Noiz yelled, slamming his hands down on the table. The action caused the wardens to step forward.

“Whoa, okay, we don’t have to,” Sly said quickly as he raised his hands in surrender. He leaned back in his chair. “But if we aren’t going to talk about that, then you have to tell me what the _fuck_ you were doing showing Sei to Aoba. That’s next level fucked up, Noiz.”

“I thought it might bring you out,” Noiz mumbled as he fiddled with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Aoba hasn’t been doing too good without you here.”

“Aw, you did that for sweet little Aoba?” Sly said mockingly. His face darkened and he leaned forward. “Don’t ever do that again, Noiz. I don’t care if I haven’t fronted in a while and Aoba needs me back. It takes a ridiculous amount of fucking around in our head to repress Aoba’s memories of seeing Sei.”

“What do you mean?” Noiz asked, cocking his head to the side. “Aoba doesn’t remember the first time he saw Sei here?”

“No, and he won’t remember this time either,” Sly said.

“Who is he anyway?” Noiz asked. “You know him, right?”

“If you won’t talk to me about your shit, then I’m not going to talk to you about ours,” Sly said with a shake of his.“But I’m curious why you went to all that trouble to bring me out. It couldn’t have just been for Aoba’s sake.”

“Um, I…” Noiz bit his lip and stared down at the table. “I’m—“ He released a huff of air through his nose— “I’m sorry. About what I said when I, um, saw you last. I didn’t mean it. I was just upset and—“ He broke off when his voice cracked. He felt close to tears now, which was so fucking embarrassing. 

“It’s okay,” Sly said. He caught Noiz’s hand, gave it a quick squeeze, and released it before he could be reprimanded by one of the wardens. “You were upset and a bit oxygen deprived. I won’t hold against you.”

“But this afternoon,” Noiz said, glancing up at Sly through his lashes, “you said—“

“Yeah, I was a bit pissed off at you,” Sly said with a small chuckle. “You know, Noiz, if you’re really so undone about it, you can always make it up to me.” He propped his chin on his hand and waggled his eyebrows. His sharp canines flashed as he grinned.

“I, um.” Noiz pressed the heel of his hand against his mouth and flushed brightly. “I mean, I guess, I don’t wanna owe you or something.”

“Dude,” Sly said, “I was fucking kidding. You don’t have to do shit. I accept your apology; don’t worry. I was just fucking with you.”

“Oh,” Noiz said quietly. “Okay.” He gave a small sigh of relief. He hadn’t thought that his apology would go over so well. “Good, cool.” 

“Fuck, you’re adorable,” Sly said with a laugh. “You really went to all that trouble getting me back just so you could apologize?”

“Well, yeah,” Noiz mumbled, “and I kinda…” 

“Yes?” Sly prompted with a small smirk.

“Nothing, forget it,” Noiz said with a shake of his head.

“Aw, did you miss me, Noiz-y?” Sly asked in a sing-song voice.

“Fuck off,” Noiz muttered.

“Oh, that’s definitely a 'yes,'” Sly said with a self-satisfied smirk.

“It’s my fault.” Noiz hung his head and stared down at his hands, which he was twisting together in his lap.

“What is?”

“That you vanished,” Noiz said. “What I said to you made you go away, didn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Sly said with a heavy sigh. “I think it did.” He rubbed the back of his head. A frown twisted his typically sneering features. “But don’t worry about it,” he said, breaking into a smile. “I’m back now and you won’t say shit like that again, right?”

“Right,” Noiz said with a firm nod.

“Fuck, you’re cute,” Sly said with a laugh. “I’m quite looking forward to when we get back to our room tonight.”

“Sh-shut up,” Noiz muttered. He rubbed his nose and stared down at the table. His cheeks carried a bright flush of embarrassment. He had to admit that part of what he had missed about Sly was hooking up with him. Noiz wasn’t a sex addict or anything close to that, but he did have a healthy appetite for sex. _Maybe it wasn’t healthy,_ he thought suddenly. Maybe it was fucking disgusting how much he had sex. Of course, it was no question that it was disgusting _who_ he had sex with. 

“We don’t have to do anything,” Sly said quickly as he watched Noiz’s face twist with trepidation.

“Um, you don’t…you don’t, like, think I’m a slut or something, right?” Noiz asked in an almost inaudible voice.

“What? No, why would I?” Sly said with a shake of his head. “I’ve probably had sex with more people than you and I’ve been locked up in for six years. Don’t tell Koujaku, though. He’ll get pissed if he found out I use Aoba’s body in such a depraved fashion.” Sly winked.

“Yeah, but the thing with my stepdad,” Noiz whispered quietly.

“Dude, that doesn’t count as you sleeping around. You didn’t have a choice; he made you do that stuff,” Sly said emphatically. “He forced you; that’s not your fault.”

“I know, I guess, but—“

“Noiz,” Sly said firmly. “You’re not a slut. The stuff that you did with your stepdad wasn’t consensual so it totally doesn’t count as part of your sex life. You probably have just as healthy a sex life as the next guy. Don’t worry about it. And we don’t have to fool around again until you feel comfortable, okay?”

“Okay,” Noiz said with a small nod. 

* * *

They didn’t end up hooking up that night. Noiz was a little too nervous and Sly didn’t push the subject. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other whether they hooked up, which didn’t help Noiz’s self-esteem. His worries were averted, however, when, after lights out, Sly climbed into bed with him—after asking permission—and they had laid together and chatted idly. Noiz had eventually fallen asleep, curled up against Sly’s side. It was comforting to have the warm body beside him. When he woke the next morning, he found Sly lying in his own bed with his feet up against the wall, reading a book. Apparently he hadn’t wanted the wardens to walk in on them sleeping together.

“That’s a surefire way of getting stuck with a new roommate,” he had explained. 

Sly didn’t look like he had slept at all the night before. His eyes appeared sunken and were ringed with shadows. He also functioned in something of a haze as they went to breakfast together. 

They sat at a table with Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku. The latter was blatantly giving Sly the cold shoulder as he chatted with Mizuki, but Sly was a touch too exhausted to antagonize him. He threw out a few witty barbs directed at Koujaku, but none of them had enough force for even Koujaku to get upset about.

After breakfast, they all walked to group together. Clear assumed his usual seat next to the one that was left empty for Mink; Noiz sat down beside him; and Sly took the seat next to him. Koujaku and Mizuki sat down on the opposite side of the circle. Koujaku looked like he wanted to get as far away from Sly as possible as he sneered across the circle at him. Sly didn’t take any notice. He let out a huge yawn and sunk low in his chair. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes.

“Good morning, everyone,” Mink said as he walked into the room. He sat down beside Clear as he scanned the circle to gauge how the patients were doing. He got a feel for this by how patients returned his greeting. “Clear, would you like to start introductions?” He glanced down at the boy beside him.

“Okay,” Clear said in his bubbly voice. “I’m Clear. I have mirrored-self misidentification. I took off my mask twice this week.” His eyes crinkled with a huge smile as he looked up at Mink.

“Good job, Clear,” Mink said with a nod. “That’s great work. Noiz?”

“I’m Noiz,” Noiz said. He had yet to supply more information than that at group.

“Sly,” Sly said. He still had his eyes closed.

“Are you tired, Sly?” Mink asked. He looked genuinely concerned as he stared at the alter's ashen face. “Did you not sleep well last night?”

“I’m fine,” Sly said. He sat forward and opened his eyes. The bright yellow orbs found Mink’s eyes.

“Alright, Sly,” Mink said, though it was obvious he didn’t believe Sly in the slightest. Who would? The boy looked ready to fall asleep in his chair. “Would you like to share anything?”

“Nah,” Sly said with a wave of a hand.

When they had finally made their way around the circle, Mink gave his typical announcements. One of the patients asked about Toue and why he had stepped down. Noiz skulked low in his chair. He could feel Sly, Koujaku, Clear, and Mizuki all glance in his direction. Mink informed him that the details weren’t privy to the doctor and steered the conversation elsewhere. 

Noiz tried to pay attention as best he could. It was embarrassing when he would be called on and wouldn't respond for a solid minute because he had zoned out so much. 

Koujaku and Clear were making great strides in their recovery. Clear had self-destructive tendencies that functioned in tandem with his reflection-identifying issue. Noiz had slowly learned during his time at the ward that there were many disorders that didn't require hospitalization, but as soon as someone became a danger to themself or others, then in-treatment was considered. Koujaku was a danger to himself and others when he got angry, but he hadn't been going off the rails as much recently. It probably helped that Sly hadn’t been around for so long. It was hard for him to control his anger when Sly made a concentrated effort to disrupt the tentative balance he’d developed inside himself.

Mizuki wasn’t doing well apparently. His panic attacks and night terrors were returning with force. One of his friends from his old gang had overdosed recently and that was causing all sorts of memories to resurface. He talked through this a bit with the group. A couple of the other patients had experienced losing friends to overdoses and they chimed in with some helpful words.

After thanking Mizuki for being so open and the other patients for helping him discuss the topic, Mink finally turned his attention to Noiz, a fact that Noiz was aware of because he was actually paying attention.

“And you, Noiz? How have you been doing?”

Noiz shrugged. 

“We have a visiting day coming up,” Mink said. “Would you like anyone to come see you?”

“Um…” Noiz bit his lip and stared down at the floor. He hadn’t thought much about seeing his mother or Theo. The latter he was desperate to see though also terrified. He wanted to talk to Theo again; see how he was doing with the whole thing with his dad. The only problem was Noiz _was_ the thing with his dad. He couldn’t imagine what Theo thought of him. Did he think his stepbrother was some sort of whore? The fact of the matter was he’d never know what Theo thought unless he actually faced him. 

His mother, on the other hand, he could do without seeing for the rest of her life. Mink had said she was being investigated for negligence since Noiz was still a minor and everything with Toue had happened under her roof. His mother didn’t win any parenting awards that was for sure, but she also wasn’t a terrible mother. She just had no idea how to handle a child that was an absolute freak compared to the other kids. She had been shunned by other moms when Noiz was young because of what Noiz had done to the other kids. Not knowing what pain was and not knowing he was an anomaly in this way, he had thought that everyone was like him. This had led him to be incredibly rough with the other kids, causing several broken bones and numerous howls of pain. His mother, as well as his doctors, had a terrible time trying to explain pain to a five-year-old. Finally, his mother had simply opted to remove him from society. He had grown up without friends, completely ostracized from others. This probably boarded on negligence since he had developed such profound self-loathing and a tendency to slice his flesh open, but he didn’t hold any of this against his mother. He couldn’t imagine her doing anything else besides keeping him at home. All the same, they weren’t particularly close and it was even more terrifying to see her now that she knew that he had been sleeping with her husband.

“M-maybe,” Noiz said slowly, “I could try seeing Theo?” He glanced over at Mink, who had waited patiently for him this whole time.

“You would like to try seeing your brother,” Mink said with a slow nod. “I think that would be a good idea.” 

“But what if…” Noiz shrugged and waved his hands.

“The visiting hour will be monitored and if anything gets out of hand, then we can remove you from the situation,” Mink assured him. 

“Okay,” Noiz said. “I’ll try seeing him then.”

Mink nodded and moved on to another patient. He didn’t turn his attention to Sly during the group session. Noiz wasn’t sure if he did this because he thought Sly had fallen asleep—the patient’s eyes were closed and he was breathing steadily.

At the end of the session, Mink called Sly into his office. Sly hadn’t been asleep it would seem since he got up immediately and followed Mink inside. Noiz watched them go and surmised that Mink wanted to talk to Sly in private about his and Aoba’s issues. 

After group, he was invited to play cards with Clear and Mizuki. Koujaku skulked after them. He didn’t look particularly thrilled with the activity, but he did participate in it. Clear asked Mizuki more about how he was doing and if there was anything they could do to help. Mizuki had only shrugged non-committal and said there really wasn’t anything to do, but he had thanked Clear for his concern. 

About thirty minutes later, Noiz’s roommate returned from Mink’s office. He had his head down and his hands buried in the pockets of his sweatpants. He walked slowly across the room. He had drawn the attention of not only Noiz, who had been facing the door and therefore the first to see him, but also Koujaku. Eventually Mizuki and Clear looked up when they realized they were playing the game alone.

“Noiz, can I talk to you?” The blue-haired boy’s voice was soft. When he glanced up, Noiz saw his eyes were a soft hazel.

_Aoba_ , he thought. The amount of disappointment made him feel like a truly terrible person.

“Ah, sure.” Noiz quickly dropped his cards to the table and got up. “What’s up?” he asked as the pair walked over to two armchairs on the far side of the room.

“I just need someone to talk to,” Aoba said, “about Sei.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! we're going to learn about sei in the next one!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a late update! i was feeling really stuck with this. thanks for whoever dropped by my tumblr and asked me about updating. that gave me a push to get this chapter finished.  
> hope everyone enjoys~
> 
> cw: choking

“You remember Sei,” Noiz gasped as he dropped into the armchair.

“Well, yes, you showed him to me yesterday,” Aoba said quietly. He didn’t sound resentful of this fact.

“I just thought maybe since Sly came out you wouldn’t remember,” Noiz said hurriedly. It had been Sly’s intention to repress memories of Sei for Aoba, but clearly he hadn’t succeeded.

“That happens sometimes, but I remember.” Aoba toyed gently with the ends of his hair as he stared at the floor between the pair. “My heads a bit of a jumble right now. It doesn’t feel as empty now that Sly’s back, but I can’t get my thoughts in order. That’s probably the panic.” Aoba released a huff of bitter laughter.

“Who is Sei?” Noiz asked. He wouldn’t get this answer from Sly, but Aoba seemed willingly to provide it.

“My twin,” Aoba said. He looked up at Noiz and met his gaze. “He’s my twin brother.”

“You mean,” Noiz said slowly, “the one you got separated from when you were adopted?” He remembered Sly mentioning this once before. Apparently the adoption and the separation from his twin had really hurt Aoba, and, from what Noiz could gather, how Sly came into being.

“Sly told you about that?” Aoba said. Surprise warped his expression as he stared at Noiz with wide eyes. “We don’t talk about that with anyone. He must…” Aoba’s voice trailed away.

“I’m sorry. Was he not suppose to say something?”

“It’s fine.” Aoba shook his head. “I’m just surprised he would talk to anyone about that.”

“Have you guys told Mink?”

“Mink knows we were adopted and separated from Sei. He knows that’s when Sly came into the picture.”

“Did you tell him who Sei is?”

“No,” Aoba said quietly. “It would just be…too much to handle. I haven’t seen him for twelve years. I just can’t imagine that. Even seeing him…it felt like I was drowning. I was so overwhelmed, but Sly was there. He saved me. The only one I need is Sly.” The last words were spoken so softly Noiz wasn’t even sure Aoba had uttered them. “Besides,” he said more loudly, “didn’t he see me? He would have said something if he wanted us to reunite, but I guess…he doesn’t.”

Noiz frowned. Sei had seen Aoba, or rather Sly, since that was who had been in control. From what Noiz could tell, he hadn’t recognized Sly in the slightest, which didn’t make sense. 

“This might sound weird,” Noiz said carefully, “and it might upset you, but I don’t think he remembers who you are.”

“What?” Aoba cried out. His word drew the attentions of Koujaku, Clear, and Mizuki who were still on the other side of the room playing cards.

“He looked at you, well, Sly, and he didn’t seem to recognize you at all,” Noiz explained. “I’m sorry.”

“How? How is that possible?” Aoba asked quietly. 

“Maybe you should talk to Mink,” Noiz suggested.

“No,” Aoba snapped. “I don’t need to do that. I’m fine. It doesn’t matter.” He rose to his feet.

“Wait, Aoba, I thought—“ Noiz frowned. He wasn’t sure what he had thought. It had seemed like Aoba was coming to him for help, but it was clear he didn’t want any, and Noiz didn’t want to force unwanted assistance on him.

“Don’t worry about it, Noiz,” Aoba said. “Sly and I will handle this.”

“But,” Noiz began, “I am worried.” He flushed brightly and stared down at his hands. It was a strange sensation for him to worry about someone other than Theo, but he found this being the case for both Sly and his host.

“It’s okay, Noiz,” Aoba said gently as he patted Noiz’s shoulder. “I have Sly and we’ll talk to Mink if we need to.”

Noiz nodded. Aoba went over to Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku’s table to join their game. Noiz remained by himself for some time, lost in thought. Aoba had Sly, but Sly didn’t really have anyone. Aoba was friends with everyone in the ward, but Sly was kind of shunned by the other patients, even Mizuki and Clear. Noiz was the only one who put up with him to any real extent. He’d have to tell Sly that Aoba knew about Sei. That wasn’t going to be a pretty situation.

* * *

 Noiz didn't have to worry about telling Sly about what Aoba knew because Sly didn’t return for quite some time. The next time he saw the blue-haired alter Sly was sullenly marching into the visitor’s room to take a seat across the table from a dark-haired boy. Noiz stared at the pair. He hadn't known that Aoba would be getting a visitor today; Aoba hadn't mentioned anything to him or the others at breakfast.

“Noiz?”

Noiz quickly looked around and met his brother’s gaze. Theo smiled at him. Noiz mumbled an apology. He hadn’t been doing a very good job of paying attention to Theo since they had sat down at the table together some minutes ago. Everything distracted him, probably because he was looking to find any excuse not to look at Theo.

“So, how are you liking it here?” Theo asked hesitantly. He had opened with benign small talk about how school was going and how his friends were doing. 

“It’s fine,” Noiz said with a small shrug. He glanced over at the wall on his left. 

Trip was leaning against it. He was gazing around the room, but he looked over at Noiz’s table more often than anyone else’s. Mink had assured Noiz that Trip would keep an eye on him.

“Have you made any friends?” Theo asked. He was fiddling absentmindedly with the can of soda he had clasped in his pale hands. His blond hair was combed back from his round face. His blue eyes gleamed as he stared at Noiz. A small smile played over his lips, but Noiz could tell it was forced. Theo was doing an impressive job of seeming unaffected in this situation, but Noiz could tell he was anxious.

“A few,” Noiz said.

“Do you have a roommate?”

“Yeah.” Noiz glanced over at Sly.

His roommate was whispering urgently with his visitor. The boy’s dark, almost blue hair spiked haphazardly around his narrow face. His eyes were framed with eyeliner and red eyeshadow was smudged at the corners of his eyes. He was dressed in a loose, blue t-shirt over a white long sleeve. He also wore a necklace with a blue gem hanging from it. His hands were twisting around his red beanie as he watched Sly and nodded slowly.

“Is that him?” Theo asked, following Noiz’s gaze.

“Yeah, the one who’s flipping the bird,” Noiz said with a small smile.

Sly was currently flipping off his visitor who rolled his eyes and swatted Sly’s finger down.

“He has pretty hair,” Theo said. “Do you guys get along?”

“Sort of.” Noiz frowned. “It’s complicated.”

“How come?”

“Aoba has disassociate identity disorder,” Noiz explained.

“What’s that?” Theo’s brows crinkled in confusion.

“He has two personalities,” Noiz said. “Aoba’s the host. That’s his alter, Sly.” Noiz nodded over to Sly.

“Do you get along better with one over the other?”

“Aoba's nice," Noiz said with a shrug. “Sly…Sly is kinda an asshole.” He blushed. He didn’t want to get into the details of how he and Sly got along. “But he’s fun to hang out with.”

“That's good,” Theo said.

“Mm.” Noiz nodded.

They sat in silence for a few, excruciatingly awkward minutes. At least, Noiz found them awkward. Theo seemed content with sipping his soda.

“Do, do you want to talk about…anything else?” Noiz asked cautiously.

“Oh, um.” Theo rested his can on the table and stared down at it. He bit his lip.

“We don’t have to,” Noiz said quickly.

“I want to,” Theo murmured. “I just don’t know how to ask in a way that’s not…offensive.” The last word came out barely above a whisper. His cheeks were pale. He gnawed at his lip.

“It’s fine,” Noiz said. “You can ask it how ever you like and I just won’t get offended.” He forced a small smile. “Don’t worry.”

“O-okay,” Theo said. He took a small breath. “Why, why did you let him do that to you?” He spoke in a slow, hesitant voice. He didn’t look at Noiz, instead opting to keep his eyes fixed on the table.

“He, um—“ Noiz cleared his throat. “He was…” Noiz released a sharp sigh. He didn’t want to admit that Toue had been threatening Theo; he didn’t want his brother to think this was his fault.

“Did he say he’d hurt me if you didn’t do it?” Theo asked quietly.

“What? Did he do something to you?” Noiz snapped loudly. He shoved out of his chair and stared down at Theo.

Trip took a step forward. He was frowning slightly, but he didn’t make another move to interfere. Noiz’s outburst had drawn Sly’s attention as well. The alter’s yellow eyes bore into his roommate. 

“No,” Theo said earnestly as he shook his head. “He didn’t do or say anything.”

Noiz sighed heavily and dropped back into his chair. Trip leaned against the wall with his own sigh of relief. Sly’s gaze didn’t leave Noiz, however. 

“Why did you ask then?” Noiz said quietly.

“After I…after I saw you two together,” Theo said, “I realized what sort of person my—he is. I started thinking about all the things he’d said and done in the past, and it made me realize that maybe he, he was doing those things with you because he wanted to do them…” Theo gestured at himself.

Noiz’s face drained of color. His stomach twisted. He felt like he was going to vomit. He stared at Theo as his brother continued to gaze down at the table. 

“All this time I’ve been thinking that this is my fault,” Theo murmured when Noiz didn’t say anything, “and I was right. Wasn’t I?” He looked up at Noiz.

Noiz shook his head slowly.

“No, no, don’t blame yourself, please,” Noiz whispered. He couldn’t let Theo think he was at all fault; he couldn’t. He had to convince him that he was wrong. “That’s not why. You had nothing to do with it.” Noiz’s voice was rising as panic ate away at him. “I did it because…I did it because I wanted to. You had nothing to do with it.” Noiz shot out of his seat again. “Don’t be so arrogant, Theo. This had nothing to do with you. I did it because I liked it.” Noiz spun on his heel and sprinted out of the visitor’s room.

* * *

Sly slunk into the visitor’s room. His eyes roamed around. He spotted Noiz at a table with a small, blond boy, whom Sly guessed was his step-brother. He continued to look around the room until he spotted Ren.

His adopted brother sat up when Sly spotted him. He waved at him. Sly loped over to the table and sat down across from him.

“This is a surprise,” Sly drawled. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Sly.” A smile flickered across Ren’s face.

“Don’t look so disappointed that Aoba’s not here,” Sly said dryly. There was a dull ache behind his eyes. He’d slipped back into control right after Mink had told Aoba that Ren was here to see him. Aoba hadn't said anything when he’d abandoned ship, but he didn't always summon Sly to take control.

“I'm not disappointed to see you, Sly,” Ren said. “Just surprised. I thought Aoba would be fronting. Mink told me he’d been fronting quite a bit recently.”

“Oh, so you’re in contact with the good doctor?” Sly said, raising his eyebrows. 

“He keeps me up-to-date with how you’re doing, since I’m legally your guardian.”

Sly nodded. His and Aoba’s adopted parents had passed away when they had still been a minor. Because of this, Ren, who’d been twenty at the time, took over guardianship of them. It made sense that Mink would keep him in the loop because of this. Sly wasn’t a minor anymore, but Ren was still his only family.

“It’s been a while since my last visit, so I thought maybe Aoba would feel up to seeing me,” Ren said.

After Sly’s destructive antics had gotten too out of hand, Ren had opted for seeking medical help. Sly and Aoba had still been minors, so Ren had been able to put them away against Aoba’s will. Sly had to admit that getting locked up in the ward was actually the best thing for them. His sole purpose for existing was to keep Aoba safe, but he still had destructive tendencies that put his host at risk. He couldn’t help this, but he knew that the ward could. Aoba hadn’t taken well to Ren institutionalizing them. He’d seen it as just one more betrayal after a long succession of such things. It had taken several, long chats with Mink to work through that Ren had done this for Aoba's sake. All the same, Aoba had held a grudge for some time to cover up how hurt he'd been. Eventually, he had agreed to see Ren. Ren had visited sporadically over the years. Aoba got incredibly overwhelmed after seeing him, so he need plenty of times between visiting.

“Too bad for you then,” Sly said with a smirk. “Aoba fucking ran for it when he found out you were here.”

“Really?” Ren gazed down at the table. He looked utterly crestfallen.

“It might not have been you,” Sly said with a sigh.

“Are you trying to make me feel better?” Ren asked with a chuckle.

Sly flipped him off. Ren rolled his eyes and knocked the offensive gesture aside. 

“Things have been pretty rough around here recently,” Sly said with a sigh as he sat back in his chair.

“Is Aoba okay?” Ren asked.

“No, something’s wrong.” Sly ran a hand through his hair. “Ren.” He glanced up at his adopted brother. “Sei’s an intern here.”

“What?” Ren hissed as he leaned forward. “What the fuck? Are you serious?”

“Ah, yeah,” Sly said with dry laugh. “Even my sense of humor isn’t that fucked up.”

“Did he do something to you?” Noiz’s raised voice made Sly look around.

Noiz was out of his chair. He was staring down at his brother with wide, frightened eyes. Theo shook his head. He spoke quietly and Noiz slowly dropped back into his chair.

“What happened when you saw him?” Ren asked.

“Aoba freaked out and I came into control,” Sly said. His eyes remained on Noiz as he spoke. “I flipped out at Mink, but I played it off by saying the new intern looked like someone we’d known at the orphanage. He didn’t see us then, but the other day.” Sly shook his head slowly. “He looked right at us, but it was like he didn’t even recognize us.” He finally pulled his gaze away from Noiz and rubbed his hand against his forehead.

“What do you mean?” Ren asked quietly.

“It’s like he doesn’t even know who we are,” Sly whispered.

“What? Like, he forgot about his own twin?” Ren said.

“I guess.” Sly shrugged.

“What about Aoba? How’s he holding up?”

“The first time I managed to suppress his memory of seeing Sei,” Sly explained, “but this time I’m not so sure. Everything feels jumbled, and when I’m not in control and just in my headspace, it feels like there’s a wall up between us, like Aoba’s shutting me out.”

“You need to talk to Mink about this,” Ren said urgently.

“You had nothing to do with it!” 

Sly looked around at the sound of Noiz’s raised voice.

“I did it because…I did it because I wanted to,” Noiz continued in a loud voice. “You had nothing to do with it!” He jumped out of his seat and glared down at his brother. “Don’t be so arrogant, Theo. This had nothing to do with you. I did it because I liked it.”

Sly’s eyes grew wide. He knew what they were talking about; they were talking about Toue. And Noiz was saying he _liked_ sleeping with Toue. Theo stared at his brother in horror. Noiz whipped around and ran out of the visitor's room.

“Sly—“

Sly jumped out of his chair.

“I have to go,” he said quickly.

“Sly, we have to talk about this,” Ren said as he got up as well.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t see Aoba, Ren,” Sly said. His gaze was rooted on the door Noiz had disappeared through. “Thanks for coming. I’m sorry I have to go.” 

He ran out of the room after Noiz. He hurried down the hallway into the main corridor. He looked up at down it, but there was no sign of Noiz. He ran to their room and pulled the door open. Noiz was lying on the mattress. His face was buried in his pillow. His shoulders were shaking.

“Noiz.” Sly hurried to his bed and leaned over his roommate’s quaking body. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Noiz froze. Sly stared down at him. Slowly, Noiz sat up on his knees. He glanced at Sly over his shoulder.

"What happened?" Sly repeated.

"You're back," Noiz said in a husky voice. "I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Sly asked in confusion.

"Aoba remembers seeing Sei," Noiz said. A slow smirk spread over his face. "Guess I really fucked up on that account."

Sly snarled. This was why, this was why Aoba had been having such problems recently. He knew; he knew that Sei was here. And it was Noiz's fault. Without thinking, Sly lunged forward. His fingers wrapped around Noiz's throat and he pinned Noiz to the bed. Noiz laughed as Sly pressed down on him. He convulsed slightly as his lungs tried to drag in air. His face grew red.

"You sick sonovabitch," Sly hissed. "This is all your fault."

"Mm-hm," Noiz gurgled as he nodded as best he could. "It is. It's my fault. All of it is my fault."

 


	15. Chapter 15

Sly dug his fingers harder into Noiz's neck. His vision blurred with rage. He panted through his nose as he forced his weight onto Noiz's throat. The boy beneath him whimpered. His fingers clawed at the sheets. His face was an unnatural shade of red. He whined loudly and his eyelids fluttered.

_Sly! Stop! You're going to kill him!_

Sly blinked. His vision cleared and he saw the tears dripping out of Noiz's eyes. The boy's lips worked desperately, but he couldn't formulate any sound. Sly jerked back, his hands relinquishing their lethal grip on Noiz's throat. Noiz gasped and rolled onto his side. He hacked, moaned, wheezed. Sly stared at him with wide eyes. His hands were still shaking, but the all-consuming rage no longer suffocated his mind.

"I'm moving out," he whispered. He pushed off the bed and left the room.

* * *

Sly made good on his promise to change rooms. Two wardens and Mink entered the room a short time later. Noiz, who was curled up under the covers, didn't respond when Mink asked him what had happened. The doctor tried several times to get an explanation from him, but Noiz refused to supply one. The wardens moved Sly and Aoba's things out of their room to another. 

Noiz emerged from his cocoon when it was time for dinner. He dressed in a turtle neck and sweatshirt even though the ward's temperature made this outfit feel a touch stifling. He found Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku sitting at a table together. Sly sat alone at another one. Noiz gazed at him for a long time before going to sit next to Clear. 

The other patients tried without success to wrangle out of Noiz what had happened between him and Sly. None of them had had visitors today so they hadn't seen what had happened between Noiz and Theo. Noiz didn't answer their queries. His gaze was on Sly throughout the meal, but his thoughts were on Theo. He hoped that his outburst had convinced Theo that none of this was his fault. 

After dinner, Noiz allowed himself to be roped into a game of cards. He didn't pay much attention, opting instead to stare at Sly, who sat in one of the widow seats with a book on his knees. 

When it was time to get ready for bed, the patients all left the common room to go to their respective rooms. Noiz trailed behind the group. His eyes were fixed on Sly as he watched his former roommate enter a new room.

Noiz didn't sleep well without the comforting presence of another person in his room. 

The next morning, after breakfast, he and Sly were called into Mink's office. The pair were directed to sit together on the couch. Noiz pressed against the arm of the chair in the hopes of getting as far from Sly as possible. He didn't much like being in such close quarters with Sly, despite missing his company the night before. Sly had come moments from killing him, he was sure. It didn't matter that that was what he had wanted Sly to do; it still unnerved him that the alter had been close to capable of it. He had to resist the urge to brush his fingers against his neck, which would have alerted Mink to something being the matter. As it was, his choice of a turtleneck probably intrigued the doctor.

Sly sat on the opposite end of the couch. His arms were folded and he stared blankly at the coffee table. Mink was leaning against his desk, accessing the pair with his soft gaze. After a few more moments, he spoke:

"Would one of you like to explain why Sly requested a room change?"

"I got bored of him," Sly said, jerking his head in Noiz's direction.

Mink glanced at Noiz as well. 

Noiz shrugged in a way that neither confirmed nor denied Sly's statement.

"Noiz, do you want Sly to no longer be your roommate?"

"Yes," Noiz said quietly. 

Sly released a sharp laugh. 

"Are you bored of him as well, or is there another reason?" 

Noiz swallowed, causing a dull ache to throb in his throat. His fingers twisted together. 

"We get into fights," he finally said.

"Are these physical altercations?" Mink asked.

"No," Noiz said. "We just don't get along well."

Sly snorted loudly.

"Sly, do you have anything else to add?" Mink said as he glanced over at the alter.

Sly shook his head with a small chuckle.

"You may go then; I'd like to speak to Noiz privately."

Sly got to his feet. As he walked past Noiz, he cast the other patient a leer.

Noiz grimaced and looked down at his feet. When the door closed behind Sly, Mink crossed the room and sat on the couch beside Noiz. Noiz glanced over at him.

"Noiz, why did you tell Theo that you enjoyed what you did with Toue?" Mink asked.

"I--" Noiz flushed brightly and rooted his eyes on his knotted-together hands. "I really didn't," he blurted out. "I just--I--"

"Noiz, I know you didn't mean what you said," Mink said in a reassuring voice. 

"How do you know what I said?"

"We have security cameras in the visitors' room in case there's an issue," Mink explained.

"There aren't any in the family room, are there?" Noiz asked frantically.

"No, no, those are for private family meetings," Mink said, shaking his head. "So, why did you say what you didn't mean?"

"Because Theo was blaming himself for what Toue had done to me," Noiz said in a quiet voice. "I couldn't let him think this was his fault."

"It's neither his fault, nor yours," Mink said. "All the blame for Toue's actions fall on him."

"B-but Theo _was_ the reason Toue was doing those things to me," Noiz whispered quietly.

"Do you resent Theo because of this?"

"No, of course not." Noiz shook his head earnestly. "I love him; he's the first person who treated me like I was human. I wanted to protect him from Toue and that was the only way I could. And, and I still want to protect. I don't want him to blame himself."

"I understand," Mink said. "Thank you for telling me all of this." He gave a small smile. "Is there anything else you want to tell me about the situation with Sly?"

"Wh-what?" Noiz stammered. He had thought they'd laid that issue to rest.

"It seems like Sly makes you uncomfortable," Mink said. "So I thought I'd give you this time to say anything else on your mind regarding him when he's not here."

Noiz swallowed carefully. He didn't like the idea of talking about Sly behind his back, and, despite what Sly had done to him, he didn't want to get the patient in trouble. Noiz had purposefully egged him on in a moment of desperate masochism, and to some degree the desire to die. He didn't feel that way now. At the end of the day, it was his fault that Sly had almost choked him to death.

"N-no," he finally said, "not really."

"Noiz, why are wearing a turtleneck today?" Mink asked in a low voice. 

"Um." Noiz cheeks flushed brightly. He glanced up at Mink out of the corner of his eye. "I just...hickeys," he mumbled. "We, um, we hooked up once. S-sorry."

"Was it consensual?" Mink asked.

"Yes," Noiz said hurriedly. 

"Punitive measures will not be taken," Mink assured him. "You will be kept separate from each other, however, since it is against the rules for patients to have sexual relationships with one another. Besides hooking up, is there anything else that happened between you two that I should know about?"

"No," Noiz said, shaking his head slowly. "We never got into, like, fights. We'd just yell at each other."

"What is your relationship with Aoba?"

"We're just friends." Noiz blanched. This implied that he and Sly were  _more_ than friends. "That, that is we've never hooked up."

Mink nodded and said: "Then, when Aoba is fronting you two can hang out if you like."

"Okay," Noiz said slowly.

"Thank you for telling me all of this," Mink said. He stood up from the couch and walked to the door.

Noiz stood and moved after him.

"We'll have group now," Mink explained.

Group had been pushed back to deal with the pressing matter of the Noiz and Sly issue. 

Noiz nodded and the pair went into the common room. Mink had the wardens gather the patients for group. Noiz sat in his usual seat beside where Clear always sat, but he noted that one of the wardens pointedly led Sly to the opposite side of the circle. Mizuki and Koujaku sat down beside him, the latter somewhat begrudgingly. Noiz kept his eyes trained on the floor, though he felt Sly's gaze boring holes into him.

Group took an agonizingly long time to get through. Thankfully Mink didn't focus on either Noiz or Sly. When the doctor finally brought the hour to a close, Noiz shot out of his chair and hastened into the common room. Clear and Koujaku joined him at one of the tables. As they crossed the room to him, Noiz stared past them to where Mizuki and Sly were talking quietly in the doorway.

"Noiz, do you wanna talk about what's going on?" Clear asked hesitantly as he sat down in the chair beside Noiz's. 

Noiz shrugged indifferently.

"Is it true that Sly got moved to a different room?" Koujaku asked.

Noiz confirmed as much with a short nod.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Clear tried again.

Noiz sighed and said: "It's not a big deal; we just don't get along well, so Sly requested a room change."

"I thought you two were really close," Clear said.

Noiz flushed and stared down at the table. 

"Not really," he mumbled under his breath.

"What's that about us not being close, Noiz?" 

Noiz's head shot up and he looked around. Sly stood a few paces away from the table with a leer on his face. Mizuki was gnawing on his lip and there was a look of guilt in his eyes as if he felt responsible for Sly getting over to Noiz's table. 

"Didn't you tell Mink that we're  _very_ close?" Sly's smirk spread as he bent forward and laid his palms on the table.

"Fuck off, Sly," Noiz snapped.

"Sly."

The group looked around at the sound of a wardens authoritative voice. The man was striding over to the table. He stopped a few feet away. Noiz recognized him as the same warden who had seated Sly on the far side of the circle from him.

"You and Noiz are supposed to be separated," he said in a low voice.

"Right," Sly drawled. "Wouldn't want us fucking again." 

"Fuck off," Noiz growled. 

"Sly," the warden repeated.

Sly chuckled quietly as he turned away and allowed himself to be led away by the warden.

Mizuki sat down slowly in the chair beside Noiz.

"Sorry, I tried to tell him not to come over here," he said.

"Doesn't matter," Noiz muttered.

"Wait, were you two hooking up?" Koujaku demanded.

"I--" Noiz bit his lip. If he lied about that here, then that might get back to Mink, who could then suspect that something  _else_  had happened between him and Sly. Noiz tugged at his turtleneck absentmindedly. "Yeah."

"That happens a lot here," Mizuki said, putting a reassuring hand on his arm. "You don't have to feel embarrassed about getting caught."

"Hey."

The group looked up. A patient, whose name Noiz couldn't remember, stood by the table. He was staring down at Noiz.

"is it true that Toue came to visit you the day that he stepped down?"

"So what if it is?" Noiz snapped, who was still in a sour mood from his confrontation with Sly.

"I'm just curious," the patient said, raising his hands defensively. "There was a bit of a commotion that day; that's what everyone's saying. The news is saying he stepped down for personal issues. You his personal issue?" The patient raised his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion.

Noiz wetted his lips tentatively. He was slowly beginning to tremble under the small interrogation.

"Dude, fuck off," Koujaku snapped as he stood up. "That isn't your fucking business."

"Hey, if one of the patients here was fucking around with the director, it kinda is everyone's business," the patient shot back. "He could be getting special treatment or some shit.

"What the fuck kind of special treatment could you get in a psych ward?" Koujaku snapped. "Extra meds? How nice; you could have a cushy trip while the rest of us are stuck in reality."

"Look I was just curious," the boy said. "It's good to know if there's some sort of whore on the floor to keep away from him."

"Dude," Mizuki hissed as he glanced quickly at Noiz. 

Noiz had completely shut down by now. He was staring blankly at the table in front of him. He couldn't believe this conversation was happening mere moments after he had confessed that he had slept with Sly. Now Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku would definitely think he was a slut.

"Yo, back the fuck off." Koujaku grabbed the boy's shoulder and shoved him away from the table. "You're fucking talking about statutory rape there, dip shit. That's fucked up."

The patient was interrupted by an approaching warden. The warden asked if there was some sort of problem. The patient only shrugged and left the group. Koujaku slowly sank back in his chair. 

"You okay, Noiz?" Clear asked as he rested his hand on Noiz's forearm.

"Mm-hm," Noiz said. 

"Sorry," Koujaku muttered as he picked up his cards. "I didn't mean to freak out like that."

"It's okay," Mizuki said. "That guy was being a total dick. I can't believe he said that shit about Noiz's stepdad."

"Thanks, Koujaku," Noiz whispered quietly. "For sticking up for me."

"Oh, it's no big deal," Koujaku said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Does anyone want to play cards?" Clear asked in a quiet voice. His shoulders, which were hunched in on himself, played testament to how uncomfortable he felt about the conversation around him.

"Sure," Mizuki said with a forcibly cheerful edge to his voice.

Noiz spent the rest of the day with the trio. Mizuki felt bad about leaving Sly on his own, but he was also a touch annoyed that Sly had antagonized Noiz and decided to 'let him sulk alone like a baby.' Sly appeared to be doing just that, since he didn't leave his perch in a window sill and his sole activity for the day seemed to be glowering out the window. 

When the day drew to a close, Noiz was again retreated to his room alone. He was once again bombarded by a feeling of loneliness when he curled up in bed. Even if things were on edge between him and Sly, he missed having someone else in the room. He even would have taken Aoba's presence, even though he didn't like the host as much as his alter. Noiz sighed quietly and rubbed his nose. He couldn't quite fathom how he and Sly would manage to get back on good terms since they weren't permitted from seeing each other now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update at last! hope people like it ~


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had this written for some time, but i kept wanting to add more bc it's on the shorter end of things. finally i just decided to post it so that y'all could have another update! thank you so much for those who have stuck with this story!!

Aoba paced frantically around his room. Mink had made short work of moving Noiz’s things out of their room. Aoba was grateful that Mink hadn’t made him change rooms. He had grown rather fond of this room since he’d lived in it for the last six years. Considering this, it would have made little to no sense for Mink to move him.

Aoba released a grating sigh and raked his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what Sly’s beef with Noiz was. All he knew was that Sly would have killed Noiz if Aoba hadn’t intervened. The thought terrified him, not only because he never would have thought Sly capable of such a thing, but also because Sly, as the alter had said time and time again, existed solely to protect Aoba. The thought that Sly might consider Noiz a threat to Aoba’s safety unnerved him to no end.

He couldn’t confront the alter directly with this. Before, there had been some minimal communication between them, but ever since Sei’s return, Aoba had been putting up a wall between him and Sly, and it would seem that Sly was returning the favor. 

Aoba gnawed on his thumb knuckle. The thought of his twin brother always set him on edge. Seeing his face after six years was enough to send jagged shivers down his spine, and threaten a complete breakdown. He had kept his shit relatively together when he had confronted Noiz about his twin. Now, however, alone as he was, he was starting to fall apart at the seams. A dull throbbing in the back of his skull told him that Sly was doing his utmost to seize control.

Aoba snarled. He spun toward the wall and slammed his fist against the hard surface.

_Did you fucking know?_ Aoba screamed inside his head. 

If Sly had known about Sei…if he had known and kept this from Aoba…Aoba wasn’t sure if he could forgive him. 

Aoba’s fist snaked back and he slammed it against the wall once again. Pain lanced up his arm. His knuckles throbbed. He pounded his fist against the wall. Blood smeared against the white surface.

_Enough, you idiot!_ Sly yelled.

 

Noiz walked slowly down the hall toward his new room. He had convinced the nurse on duty to let him go to his room to read a book. Noiz had never been one for pursuing literature; he was honestly just going to take a nap.

A fervent thumping made him glance around in confusion. The sound was emanating from the room he had shared with Aoba and Sly. Noiz glanced hurriedly up and down the hallway. There were no nurses present. Should he go get one? 

The thumping came to a sudden halt. Noiz moved toward the door and leaned forward, straining to hear. What sounded like muffled sobbing seeped past the door.

Before Noiz knew what he was doing, his hand flew out and he yanked the door open. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. He stared around the room. His former roommate—he couldn’t be sure which personality was in control right now—was hunkered down in front of the far wall. His arm was cradled against his chest. Above him on the wall was a smear of blood.

“Hey, are you okay?” Noiz asked as he hurried across the room. He dropped his knees and grabbed the blue-haired boy’s shoulder.

Vibrant yellow eyes flickered up to meet his gaze. Sly snuffled quietly. Tears dripped down his splotchy cheeks. Noiz glanced down at his hand and grimaced. The back of his hand was covered in blood. His knuckles were split and leaking the liquid lethargically. 

“Sly, what happened?” Noiz asked gently. His hand remained stiffly on Sly’s shoulder; he wasn’t sure what to do with it. 

Sly released a small whimper and slumped against Noiz. He nestled his face against the boy’s shoulder. Noiz stared at him with wide eyes.

“Sly?”

“I-it’s fine now,” Sly whispered in a hoarse voice. “It’s fine. Aoba, he…” Sly shook his head.

“Did Aoba do this?” Noiz asked. He reached down and carefully took Sly’s fingertips between his. He raised the bloodied hand and peered down at it.

“Yeah, he was upset.” Sly laughed ruefully. “He—“ Sly broke off with a shaky breath. He drew in a long breath and suddenly a harsh sob wracked his body. “He knows,” he wailed. “He knows that I was hiding Sei from him. I don’t know what to do; what am I suppose to do? I just wanted to keep him safe. I just—“ Sly sobbed loudly. He fell into Noiz’s lap. His arm wrapped around Noiz’s waist; his injured hand gripped Noiz’s pants. He sobbed pitifully.

Noiz’s mouth worked wordlessly. Finally, he closed it with a shake of his head. He didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing. He reached out his hand slowly. Maybe Sly didn’t need him to say anything. Maybe he just needed to cry. 

Noiz’s hand nestled in Sly’s soft blue locks. He stroked the crown of the boy’s head gently. Sly’s body, which had been wracked with sobs, stilled under the soft touch. He whimpered quietly and pushed his face against Noiz’s thigh. His sobs slowly died down.

“Sly?” Noiz asked. “Should you talk to Mink about this?”

“Mm.” Sly shifted slightly in his lap. 

“W-well, whatever you choose, I’ll be here for you,” Noiz said hesitantly. “Even though your asshole.” He made the jab gently and Sly chuckled quietly.

“And tried to strangle you?” he added.

“That was my fault,” Noiz murmured. “I, I wanted you to do that. I said that stuff so you would. I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Sly said in a thick voice. “‘m sorry.” He turned his head to the side, pressing his cheek against Noiz’s thigh. His eyes drifted shut.

Noiz continued to stroke his hair. Sly’s breathing was soft, steady; he’d fallen asleep. Noiz glanced up at the blood-smeared wall. He needed to get Sly help for his hand, but he was also worried about leaving him alone. 

He was saved from making the difficult decision when a soft knock sounded on the door and it opened. The nurse who had let Noiz go read poked his head into the room.

“Noiz?” he said in surprise.

“Um, could I have some help?” Noiz asked.

“What’s wrong?” the nurse said as he hastened into the room. He knelt down beside Sly. 

“I don’t know. I think Aoba punched the wall,” Noiz said. “Sly was crying and then he fell asleep. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Ask the nurse at the front desk to fetch me a first aide kit,” the nurse said. “We’ll handle it from here.”

Noiz nodded.

The nurse carefully lifted Sly out of his lap. Noiz watched as he carried him to his bed and placed him on the bed.

“Now, Noiz,” the nurse said, “and will you see if Mink is available?”

“Yes, sorry.” Noiz pushed himself to his feet and hurried out of the room. He went to the front desk and told the nurse on duty there that a first aide kit was needed in Sly and Aoba’s room.

The nurse snatched the requested item from a drawer in the desk and walked quickly to the room. Noiz then went to Mink’s office. When he reached the door, he knocked lightly.

“Come in,” Mink called from beyond the door.

Noiz pushed the door open carefully and peeked inside. Mink was sitting behind his desk, upon which he had a book propped. He looked up from the book. 

“Noiz, what is it?” he asked.

“Um, Sly and Aoba got hurt,” Noiz explained.

Mink frowned.

“Aoba punched the wall a bunch, I think,” Noiz said. “I, I found them. I know I’m not supposed to…”

“That’s alright, Noiz.” Mink stood up and walked around his desk. “Is there a nurse with him now?”

“Yes, two,” Noiz said, “and a first aide kit.”

“Good, I’ll see to the rest. You should back to the common room.”

“Okay,” Noiz said quietly. 

Mink strode across the room. Noiz bit his lip as he turned around and walked slowly of the room. His thoughts were a jumbled mess. Mink moved passed him and hurried to Aoba and Sly’s room. Noiz walked lethargically to the common room. Mizuki, Kojaku, and Clear were sitting around the coffee table, where he had left them, playing cards.

“Noiz, you’re back,” Mizuki said cheerfully. 

Noiz nodded and sat down next to Koujaku. Koujaku glanced over at him as he played what he claimed were a pair of tens. 

“Noiz, what’s up?” he asked.

Noiz shook his head. What had happened between Aoba and Sly was their business; he didn’t have the right to tell anyone else about what had happened. 

**Author's Note:**

> as with any of my writing it's off to a shaky start. it's hard to get into a groove. i hope it was still enjoyable. this story is going to deal with some dark elements so be prepared.  
> content warnings include: cutting, suicidal ideations, and severe depression. please be aware of this. i will put cws at the beginning of each chapter when necessary


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